Boundaries with Kids

Oh my word I'm so tired!  This has been such a busy week.  The things we're doing are fun and I'm glad we get to do them but I'll be glad for next week to get here.  The kids are getting tired.  Today my six year old had some drama and threw the mother of all fits.  I mean a HUGE fit in a public place.  That does not happen often for us.  I'm sure that every mom goes through it and I know that I did exactly what I needed me to do to handle it but it did make me think though.  It reminded me of how important it is to train my children and the younger they are the better.  When a one year old disobeys it's easy to pick them up and make them do what you want.  At a certain age though they get bigger and you cannot physically make them do anything.  I think it was a Dr. Dobson book where I read that the most important lesson a two year old should learn is that they need to obey.  And they need to obey the first time you tell them to do something.

I am wishy washy and busy and so I have a hard time staying on top things.  But because I'm busy and have four kids is all the more reason to make sure that I make them obey the first time. I do not have time to tell kids over and over to do something.  It is good for kids to understand the reason behind our instructions but first they need to obey.  There could be a serious situation where I need them to do what I say instantly or they'll get hurt and won't have time to explain myself.

This book  "Boundaries With Kids" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend is a good read.  It talks about the reasons kids need boundaries and how to implement them. It gets very specific too - naming specific behavior problems and what you can do about them. After the day I had today, I need to go back to see what they say about fit throwing and tantrums!

The authors say that the three roles of parents are to be a guardian, manager, and source. The actress Judy Garland was a twit.  Her manager fluffed her along and gave her a good nudge to get out there and she did great.  But she needed her manager.  Someone who could encourage her, tell her to knock it off and just get out there already!  My oldest needs a manager.  She's a twit and full of drama but is completely fine once she gets there.  Knowing her well enough to know that about her is my job.  I need to remain calm and not let the drama bother me.  It's not about me and she needs to know her mom is tough enough to handle her.  It makes kids insecure when they think (or know) that they are tougher than their parents.

Tonight I'm going to bed at peace knowing that I handled today the way I needed to.  I am feeling an extra sense of urgency to get my crunk together with the rest of these monsters though.  Think I'd better reread this book!