We have just finished a season of swim team and I can officially say that I'm a swim mom. I've been a soccer mom, a baseball mom, and a piano mom, but this was my first experience with the sport of swimming. I took swimming lessons as a child so know the basics but the sport of swimming is a whooole other thing. I learned so much! I learned about swimming but there were also some mom lessons in there for me too.
To start with, I was reminded I need to pray about what I sign my kids up for. There are tons of activities out there and it doesn't take long to fill up your calendar. When you have four kids it happens before you know it! Most moms I know are on overload. We are all so overwhelmed by kid activities it wears on us yet at the same time we feel guilty that our little one can't do ballet or jealous that so-and-so gets to take horseback riding lessons. And we just keep on signing them up for stuff.
It's hard to remember that God has a plan for each of our families, but He does. If you pray and have a peace you're following God's plan for your family then the activities you're involved in are more than just time fillers. They're a training ground for whatever God has in store for your little ones. I've mentioned before that my brother was in 4-H and because of that was able to start the first ever 4-H club in a youth prison. Isn't that an amazing thing? I was not in 4-H. My mom didn't have the same leading that I needed to be in it. Praise the Lord she was praying for my brother and I. If she hadn't been, and decided without praying that it was just too much work, or she didn't feel like doing it, my brother would not have the background needed to run this club he started.
There's always something to complain about. Always. That doesn't mean we should though. When you complain it affects the atmosphere around you. At the start of our swim season I was a little disappointed. For the amount of money it cost, I had hoped for more instruction. This year the coaches were short handed, there were more girls on the team, plus one had special needs. There just weren't enough coaches to give individual instruction. The moms I sat near at practice also had some frustrations and before long it seemed every practice was a complaining session. At first I was an active participant and would come home all worked up and upset. My crabby attitude affected my home and the way I communicated with others. I began to pray about it and at one swim meet God showed me how much our coach was juggling. A high school student, with 25 girls on her team, had to plan out what events each child would swim, keep track of kids and get them to their events, swim in her own events, and deal with crabby parents. All in the midst of hundreds and hundreds of people. Seeing what all she was doing made me feel bad that I'd been crabby and thankful that she was giving her time to do this. When I approached her with an attitude of thankfulness it changed things. She was responsive to questions I had and I think her coaching got better.
It's a blessing to find things your kids are good at. Every child needs to know they are good at something and part of our "mom job" is to find those things for our kids. My mother was so great about doing this. If it even looked like I had an interest, she pushed me in that direction, bought me books about it, and found a class where I could learn more. As an adult looking back I'm so much more appreciative. I know how much work it was to drive me to things and find those resources.
While it's a blessing to find things your kids are good at, it's also a blessing when it's something that you don't hate doing. I put off having this daughter do swim team because even though I knew she'd love it, I thought I would hate it. Shame on me. I did not pray about that decision and wish I would have because I didn't hate it. I loved it! Thank you Jesus!
While it's easier if they do, your kids don't have to do the same activities. When I started homeschooling one of my fears was that my kids would get so tired of each other they wouldn't have good relationships. God put a wise mama in my path who said it's good for kids to each have their own thing to do. She said don't just make them play baseball because "our family plays baseball". My oldest two are very close in age. The younger works really hard to keep up with the older and for the most part she does such a great job it's hard to remember there's even an age difference. There is though, and at times it wears on her to keep up. Especially since the older is very competitive. Because of that I felt like God put it on my heart that this child do swim team. She needed her own "thing". My older is a good swimmer too and she would probably enjoy this but it's not where her heart is and I am not going to ever have her do it. To preserve the relationship these sisters have, they each need their own activities where they're not competing with one another.
At the same time, when your children are in different activities it still does affect your other kids. Everyone gets to go to swim meets. Everyone is sitting at tball games or going to piano recitals. Think how much each of your children is learning about life from all of these activities. And even if they aren't a participant God can still be using their gifts. My oldest came to meets with a bag packed of things to do. Before long she was keeping all the younger kids around her busy. She was putting on swim caps and sunblock, taking kids to the bathroom or the snack bar and God was using her. She made those long meets easier on the families she was helping. She even taught some little girls how to sew!
Pray about what you sign your kids up for because the things God puts on your heart will be more meaningful for your family. Organized sports are often unorganized, as are most kid activities. There's always something we could complain about and even if we have good reasons for being frustrated, not every frustration needs to be vented. You are a light for Him everywhere you go and how you deal with things affects the people around you. Instead of picking the activities you don't mind doing, work at finding the things your kids are good at. Remember that even if all the kids in your family aren't signed up for something, it still affects everyone. There is something everyone can learn from each experience.
