I hate it when I go to bed at night and in thinking back through the day realize I didn't actually talk to any of my kids today. We home school. That means we are home together ALL day. And yet there are days when I get to the end of it and don't remember if I ever actually looked any of them in the eye. I don't remember actually listening to them let alone giving anyone a hug. I remember being on a mission to do important grown up things but not much else. Those kind of days give me a knot in the stomach and I hate that feeling. My kids are growing so fast and I just wasted part of that time with them.
There are a lot of mom blogs that currently focus on this topic. Many of them feel unbalanced to me though. They talk about the need to let go of distractions and focus on our kids and while we do need to do that, we also have things to get done. I don't think it's good for kids to be the sole focus of life. So how do we do both??
Every mom finds her own balance in this area. I think it probably needs to start with having margin in your life. Extra time. Not having every single second filled up with stuff. When I'm too busy my kids are the ones who feel it. And by too busy, that can mean too busy doing kid things too. I was recently feeling guilty that my kids can't be in certain activity. When I actually thought through all the things that they are involved in though - church, Awana, karate, basketball (starts soon), piano, our home school group - I realized I was being silly and they are fine.
When I'm unorganized in my home management my kids feel it. Running a home is a big job and not one I can put on the back burner. If I don't menu plan, my grocery shopping is off, and we end up eating grilled cheese or pizza. Not that those are bad things but seriously I think one week this month we ate pizza four times. Four! And once I just skipped dinner making and made cookies instead. This is December so that's my excuse, but it really is time to get back on track around here.
If I don't follow a routine for housework I feel inner stress. Some mamas are wonderful at internalizing stress and putting on a smile for the family. I am not one of those. Very few things are internalized and most is right out there in the open. As I mature I think I'm getting better though. I'm envious of my husband because he's great at this. He could have a really really bad day at work but come home and be completely pleasant to be around. Maybe someday that will be me. Anyways, back to the housework. With a family of six there is a lot of it. I have a wonderful little planner on the front of my fridge with housework broken up into the days of the week. I think it's been a year since I've used it though! It's time to get back on track around here.
Give yourself emotional permission to have time to yourself. My husband is wonderful at encouraging me in this. "You do not have to entertain them every single second" he says. And he's right. I feel guilty if I don't spend enough time with them but in actuality I did just spend an entire day with them. It's ok if not all of it was spent making cookies and creating art together. They do not get to neeeeed me every second and sometimes they can wait. Sometimes they can figure it out for themselves. And sometimes they can go ask their big sister (aren't they lucky they have 2?!). My kids know that they do not get to yell for me, they can come and find me. If they do yell for me I almost never answer them. I realized that when I don't answer right away, they figure it out for themselves (whatever it was). Aha! That's good for them! There was one week that every time someone asked me something they should know the answer too, I started singing loudly. (That was good for me too - hard to feel crabby when I'm walking around singing loud hymns.)
So, in order to not have that sinking feeling at night, I need to have my time more organized. I can't be too busy, need to stay on top of the food situation and the housework. Give myself permission to have time to myself and make them figure things out on their own sometimes. I also need to work at connecting with them. I'm a "doer" and it doesn't come easy to me to set things aside but sometimes I need to. It's time to get back on track around here! Yay that it's almost January and the perfect time to be doing that.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
The nagging wife
It's been a while since I've been on here. Life got busy! This topic has been on my mind for a while though. None of us mean to be a nagging wife but we all do it. We see others nag their husbands and think how transparent and annoying it is and yet most of us still do it. Why?? When you're in the midst of nagging your husband think through your motives. I've been doing this and sometimes what I found surprised me.
Sometimes we truly do need our husbands help. We NEED something done and just can't do it ourselves. The clogged toilet may be beyond your ability and with a family of six it's important that it's working. I am short and my husband is tall and sometimes when I need his help it's height related. I just can't reach it. Even if I put a step stool on top of the coffee table, I can't reach it and I just need help. Other times I don't necessarily need his help but I want it. Seeing him do something for me makes me feel loved. My dad is a doer and that's how he shows love, so I'm sure that that's in the background there somewhere. It makes us feel cherished and taken care of to have someone do things for us.
Sometimes I think it's a competition. I want my husband to do certain things because I think it's only fair. I'm busy. Crazy busy. And I want to make sure he's doing his fair share of things around here. But marriage isn't a competition and that's a good way to make sure there's strife in a home. Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. I think competing with your husband is a good way to tear your house down. Don't be that foolish woman!
Sometimes we truly do need our husbands help. We NEED something done and just can't do it ourselves. The clogged toilet may be beyond your ability and with a family of six it's important that it's working. I am short and my husband is tall and sometimes when I need his help it's height related. I just can't reach it. Even if I put a step stool on top of the coffee table, I can't reach it and I just need help. Other times I don't necessarily need his help but I want it. Seeing him do something for me makes me feel loved. My dad is a doer and that's how he shows love, so I'm sure that that's in the background there somewhere. It makes us feel cherished and taken care of to have someone do things for us.
Sometimes I think it's a competition. I want my husband to do certain things because I think it's only fair. I'm busy. Crazy busy. And I want to make sure he's doing his fair share of things around here. But marriage isn't a competition and that's a good way to make sure there's strife in a home. Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. I think competing with your husband is a good way to tear your house down. Don't be that foolish woman!
For some, getting their husband to do something gives them a feeling of power. They like to be able to tell people what to do and have it get done. I'll admit I like to tell people what to do. Not my best quality! I need to remember that and analyze my motives as I'm making out a "honey do" list. Is it because I actually need him to do it or because I want to tell someone what to do. If the latter is the case, I've got four children I can boss around and that should be plenty.
Sometimes when we find ourselves nagging we're comparing our husband to other husbands without even meaning to. Think through that thing you might be frustrated about. If you think "wow her husband washes her car once a week" or "I wish our lawn got mowed that often!" you might be jealous and that isn't fair to do to your man. Don't compare your husband to other husbands. No good can come from that! Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. If you are thinking about your husband being more like someone else's husband - that's not true. He's not and won't be and the Bible tells us to think on what is true.
There's a fine line between nagging and reminding and every couple needs to work that out. I've found that since I'm home more than my husband is, these things I want or need help getting done, are around me every day, all day long. They are at the front of my mind because I see them 24 hours a day. My husband is gone from home at least 11 hours a day. He isn't sitting there looking at the garbage can or the dog poop. His head is full of other things! He just doesn't remember some things and it's ok with him if I remind him. If I ask once or twice about something, then say "can I remind you about fixing the door nob this weekend?" - my request goes further and I've gotten his permission to remind.
Just because I'm home more doesn't mean I have to do everything. I don't mean to imply that and we both live here so some division of labor is just fine. Some husbands are great at cleaning up the kitchen. Some are very handy or are good at taking care of the kids. Work with what you've been given! If you know your husband really hates to reconcile the bank statement why don't you do it? My husband works a lot and when he's home I'd rather he was spending time with us than out mowing the lawn or in the office paying bills.
Decide "is this the hill you want to die on"? Sometimes it might be but usually I bet it's not. If you're mad that it's Thursday morning and he didn't take the garbage cans to the street, is that really something to be mad about? Being mad takes mental energy and I've decided I don't have enough as it is! Do it yourself and be thankful you live someplace with utility service!
Be thankful and show appreciation for the things your husband does do. I remember saying once "he doesn't need a parade if he takes out the trash!". What an immature thing to say. Be thankful for what he does do. If you act like that I'm guessing your husband won't be motivated to do a lot at home.
I bet he has a job. Mine does and he's really good at it. I would much rather take care of as many things at home as I can so that he has the mental energy to go be great at being an accountant. I don't want him to worry about things at home - that's my domain! When we were first married I asked him about everything - what do you want for dinner, can you change that light bulb etc. Everything! I was very young and figuring out what our roles would be, and probably trying to emulate the marriage I saw growing up. He tried so hard too. I needed his help and it was up to him to decide what was for dinner! I've grown and gone to the other end of the spectrum and it gives my husband a sense of peace knowing that I can handle it. I am running this home and that is God's plan for our marriage. Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain.
The next time you find yourself nagging, examine your motives. Do you really need the help? Are you trying to make sure the workload is fair? Are you crabby about something else and just want to tell someone what to do? Be thankful for your husband and use gentle words and I bet he'll be more likely to help you.
Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
My kid is smarter than your kid.
Not really. I just wanted you to read this. :) My kids are smart though. My two year old talks very well and we get compliments on her all the time. She even knows how to use pronouns correctly! She can count to twenty (almost), knows her ABC's, remembers names and faces, and has critical thinking abilities beyond her little two years. I would LOVE to take the credit for all that but I can't. My older girls have a lot to do with it though. They talk with her, quiz her, and correct her if she says something the wrong way. They read to her, play with her, and pray for her. She is a blessed little girl. She is also exactly who God created her to be. He gets the credit for all those wonderful things!
When our oldest was little I read to her a lot. She was very verbal and in my very naive new mom thinking, I thought it was because of me. (Ha!) I read to our second child just as much and she wasn't as verbal. I began to learn one of the early lessons of parenthood - that it's not all about me.
God created each one of my little people with their own gifts and abilities. If one of my kids is good at math, it's not because she's the product of two accountants. It's because God made her that way. If one of my kids is extremely thoughtful, it's not because I'm such a great mom. It's because God made her that way. I can help those things along, (and if I'm doing my job I should be) but it's not all because of me. It's so easy to want to take the credit for the neat things about our kids.
It's also easy to take the credit for our kids failings. Some of those we may be responsible for. As moms (and dads) we're only human and are going to make mistakes. Just plan on that, because you're gonna. Not everything is our fault though. Our precious little people were also created with their own free will. We can do everything possible to teach and train them but ultimately they will make their own choices. Pray! Do you're job - you're the parent. And pray some more! The younger they are when you're teaching and training them, the easier it will be on them. And on you. A two year old who throws a temper tantrum is a lot easier to deal with than an eleven year old who does it. Nip that in the bud! It won't be long before my kids are bigger than me. Seriously. It's easy for me to forget that and just go about physically making them mind. That's not enough though. They have to learn to obey to voice command. And why do they need to obey? Aside from their safety, kids need to learn to obey their parents because that is how we teach them to obey God. I want my kids to obey God! The consequences of disobeying Him are no fun!
Pray that your children will get caught when they're sinning. This gives you the chance to discipline, teach and train. The younger they are when paying the consequences for their sins the easier it will be on them. A sins of a six year old won't affect them for a lifetime like the sins of a twenty year old will.
Anyways, I lost my train of thought a little but Lysa TerKeurst says it best:
It's also easy to take the credit for our kids failings. Some of those we may be responsible for. As moms (and dads) we're only human and are going to make mistakes. Just plan on that, because you're gonna. Not everything is our fault though. Our precious little people were also created with their own free will. We can do everything possible to teach and train them but ultimately they will make their own choices. Pray! Do you're job - you're the parent. And pray some more! The younger they are when you're teaching and training them, the easier it will be on them. And on you. A two year old who throws a temper tantrum is a lot easier to deal with than an eleven year old who does it. Nip that in the bud! It won't be long before my kids are bigger than me. Seriously. It's easy for me to forget that and just go about physically making them mind. That's not enough though. They have to learn to obey to voice command. And why do they need to obey? Aside from their safety, kids need to learn to obey their parents because that is how we teach them to obey God. I want my kids to obey God! The consequences of disobeying Him are no fun!
Pray that your children will get caught when they're sinning. This gives you the chance to discipline, teach and train. The younger they are when paying the consequences for their sins the easier it will be on them. A sins of a six year old won't affect them for a lifetime like the sins of a twenty year old will.
Anyways, I lost my train of thought a little but Lysa TerKeurst says it best:
- Don’t take too much credit for their good.
- Don’t take too much credit for their bad.
- Don’t try to raise a good child. Raise a God-following adult.
Her blog post that goes along with this is wonderful. Read it!
Hooray for Truck Drivers!!
This is a random post, not about mothery things like most of mine are, but it's something on my mind.
I'm from Montana and one of the first things I noticed when I moved to California was the animosity that most people here have towards truck drivers. I just don't get it. Some truck drivers may be jerks but they certainly aren't all that way. Some store clerks, mail men, or accountants might be jerks too but we don't write off the whole profession like people here do with truck drivers. So why???
I think that in most other states, the population is much smaller and as a result a higher percentage of people have experience driving heavy equipment. In all of Montana, the population is about one million people. Many are farmers and ranchers and so have driven heavy equipment (tractors, combines, loaders, backhoes) and pulled trailers. The average Californian has done none of those things.
I'm THANKFUL for truck drivers! It is not an easy job. It has long hours, the pay isn't usually great, they are at the mercy of many circumstances beyond their control (meaning their paycheck is at the mercy of many circumstances beyond their control) and it takes incredible skill to do what they do. INCREDIBLE skill!!! I know many people who can't back into a parking spot, let alone back a huge 18-wheeler into a tiny loading dock. Show some appreciation for the skill that it takes.
It's because of truck drivers that this country can run the way it does. America is known for it's "stuff". Yes we all probably have too much, but I like my stuff. And all that stuff gets from one end of the country to the other mainly because of truck drivers. From produce to potato chips, magazines, and make-up, truckers are the ones who get it to the stores where you buy it. If they didn't get it there, who would?? Trains may be another option but by far the fastest and cheapest way to move product is by truck.
The typical trucker gets paid by the mile. That means any time they spend sitting in traffic, loading or unloading, they are getting paid nothing. Truckers have lots of reasons for doing this job. It really isn't just because they want to inconvenience you on the freeway. For some it's a family business. Some may just like to drive and others may like the alone time. Whatever the reason, it's an important job and they should be treated that way.
What can you do to make their lives a little easier? As believers we should constantly be looking around to see what we can do to help. And not just our friends or people from church, anyone who God sends across our path. That's what having a servants heart is all about! Helping people.
Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus
So what can you do to help? How can you be more considerate of truck drivers? For starters stop driving so close. When you drive too close they can't see you. If you can't see their side mirrors, you're in their blind spot. Not smart! Someone driving that heavy of machinery needs to be able to see the cars around them and they need your help to do that. If he needs to get into another lane and can't see you in the way, it's your fault, not his if you get hit. Be aware of his blind spots.
Stop driving so close! That means in front and in back. Don't cut him off! Trucks are huge and heavy. They can't stop as fast as our little vehicles can. If they have to stop fast because of something, it just takes longer than if it does for you. And if he has to stomp on his brakes the truck may jack-knife (truck stops but trailer goes sideways), affecting cars in other lanes. It takes a truck about twice as much time to stop as a car. If you're passing him you need to make sure you can see the entire front of the truck in your review mirror before you pull in front of him.
Stop driving so close! Give Mr. Truckdriver some extra room. Wide berth is the technical term meaning he requires additional lanes. He's not being greedy with the road, he really needs that space. If you are waiting on a street for an ongoing truck to turn in front of you don't crowd him. You'll get your turn! He needs the extra room or he might hit you. And that won't be his fault, it's yours.
And lastly, stop driving so close! Have you ever gotten a chip in your windshield because of the rocks that a truck kicks up? That stinks. But maybe if you hadn't been driving so close you wouldn't have gotten hit. Not his fault, it's yours! Did you know that the best driving distance behind trucks is 20-25 car lengths. Seriously!
People in California drive so fast. We're all in a huge hurry to enjoy the laid back lifestyle that comes with living here. Sometimes we drive too close to truckers so that someone else can't get in front of us. That's a dumb reason. It's like little kids fighting in line about who gets to go first. Only on the freeway it's so much more dangerous. Just relax! You'll get there! Stop being so pushy! You wouldn't stand in line behind a sumo wrestler all figdigty, invading his space. He might bop you one! Same goes with acting like that around trucks. Knock it off!
This is a very good article on how to stay out of a truck's blind spots. This isn't just for your own safety, it's also just plain considerate.
http://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Out-of-a-Truck's-Blind-Spots
I'm from Montana and one of the first things I noticed when I moved to California was the animosity that most people here have towards truck drivers. I just don't get it. Some truck drivers may be jerks but they certainly aren't all that way. Some store clerks, mail men, or accountants might be jerks too but we don't write off the whole profession like people here do with truck drivers. So why???
I think that in most other states, the population is much smaller and as a result a higher percentage of people have experience driving heavy equipment. In all of Montana, the population is about one million people. Many are farmers and ranchers and so have driven heavy equipment (tractors, combines, loaders, backhoes) and pulled trailers. The average Californian has done none of those things.
I'm THANKFUL for truck drivers! It is not an easy job. It has long hours, the pay isn't usually great, they are at the mercy of many circumstances beyond their control (meaning their paycheck is at the mercy of many circumstances beyond their control) and it takes incredible skill to do what they do. INCREDIBLE skill!!! I know many people who can't back into a parking spot, let alone back a huge 18-wheeler into a tiny loading dock. Show some appreciation for the skill that it takes.
It's because of truck drivers that this country can run the way it does. America is known for it's "stuff". Yes we all probably have too much, but I like my stuff. And all that stuff gets from one end of the country to the other mainly because of truck drivers. From produce to potato chips, magazines, and make-up, truckers are the ones who get it to the stores where you buy it. If they didn't get it there, who would?? Trains may be another option but by far the fastest and cheapest way to move product is by truck.
The typical trucker gets paid by the mile. That means any time they spend sitting in traffic, loading or unloading, they are getting paid nothing. Truckers have lots of reasons for doing this job. It really isn't just because they want to inconvenience you on the freeway. For some it's a family business. Some may just like to drive and others may like the alone time. Whatever the reason, it's an important job and they should be treated that way.
What can you do to make their lives a little easier? As believers we should constantly be looking around to see what we can do to help. And not just our friends or people from church, anyone who God sends across our path. That's what having a servants heart is all about! Helping people.
Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus
So what can you do to help? How can you be more considerate of truck drivers? For starters stop driving so close. When you drive too close they can't see you. If you can't see their side mirrors, you're in their blind spot. Not smart! Someone driving that heavy of machinery needs to be able to see the cars around them and they need your help to do that. If he needs to get into another lane and can't see you in the way, it's your fault, not his if you get hit. Be aware of his blind spots.
Stop driving so close! That means in front and in back. Don't cut him off! Trucks are huge and heavy. They can't stop as fast as our little vehicles can. If they have to stop fast because of something, it just takes longer than if it does for you. And if he has to stomp on his brakes the truck may jack-knife (truck stops but trailer goes sideways), affecting cars in other lanes. It takes a truck about twice as much time to stop as a car. If you're passing him you need to make sure you can see the entire front of the truck in your review mirror before you pull in front of him.
Stop driving so close! Give Mr. Truckdriver some extra room. Wide berth is the technical term meaning he requires additional lanes. He's not being greedy with the road, he really needs that space. If you are waiting on a street for an ongoing truck to turn in front of you don't crowd him. You'll get your turn! He needs the extra room or he might hit you. And that won't be his fault, it's yours.
And lastly, stop driving so close! Have you ever gotten a chip in your windshield because of the rocks that a truck kicks up? That stinks. But maybe if you hadn't been driving so close you wouldn't have gotten hit. Not his fault, it's yours! Did you know that the best driving distance behind trucks is 20-25 car lengths. Seriously!
People in California drive so fast. We're all in a huge hurry to enjoy the laid back lifestyle that comes with living here. Sometimes we drive too close to truckers so that someone else can't get in front of us. That's a dumb reason. It's like little kids fighting in line about who gets to go first. Only on the freeway it's so much more dangerous. Just relax! You'll get there! Stop being so pushy! You wouldn't stand in line behind a sumo wrestler all figdigty, invading his space. He might bop you one! Same goes with acting like that around trucks. Knock it off!
This is a very good article on how to stay out of a truck's blind spots. This isn't just for your own safety, it's also just plain considerate.
http://www.wikihow.com/Stay-Out-of-a-Truck's-Blind-Spots
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Oh good. Another thing to teach my kids.
We have four kids who are all pretty verbal and I was reminded recently that I need to work with them on their conversation skills. It is a skill and all skills have elements of learning involved. Being able to carry on a conversation is a sign of emotional maturity too. I want emotionally mature kids and that has nothing to do with age. I've known five year old's who were better at making pleasant conversation than some adults.
To start with, there is a time and a place for conversation. In the middle of karate class or while in church isn't it. That's when you need to be listening, not talking. The karate teacher does not want to hear about your dream last night or the trip we took last weekend. Some teachers might but unless they ask specifically, class is not a time to share those things. Neither is while checking out at the store.
It's not all about you. Ask questions and remember the answers. I have a good memory and find it offensive when people don't remember me. I don't mean for that to sound egotistical at all but if I'm introduced to someone one week, I think they should remember me by the next week. Maybe not my name but there should be at least some spark of recognition if they were paying attention at all. If you're the kind of person who struggles with remembering people, work at it. Woooork at it! You don't have to remember their name even - just be honest and say "I'm so sorry I know we've met before but I can't remember your name." Or "Have we met before? I'm sorry I can't remember."
Wait your turn and listen. You might have something you want to say, but if your friend is talking you need to listen. Listening is a HUGE part of conversation because conversation is a two-way thing. It's different from talking which is just one-way. Most people have encountered someone who talks at them. Patient endurance is how you get through those people. I had a friend in high school and a lot of our time together was spent waiting for the other to stop talking so we could say something. We knew we were doing it and made a joke of it but genuine conversations aren't just about waiting for your turn to talk. You need to be paying attention to what the other person is saying.
Don't be afraid of pauses. Some people need a sec to collect their thoughts before they speak. I feel this way. Just because there's a pause doesn't mean you need to fill that. Take a breath. Relax. Not all conversations have to move at warp speed. Pay attention to the person you're talking to. I feel run over the top of when with someone who never allows for a pause so I can speak.
Don't be a dominator. No one likes talking to that person who won't shut up. And if you're the verbal one, try looking for clues that you're losing your audience. If their eyes glass over and they start looking around or at their watch, that's a clue. I would be HORRIFIED if I thought someone was just patiently waiting for me to shut up so they could get away. Pay attention!
Excessive details are annoying so try to stay on point. Your listener doesn't need to know that at 7am you did this and then at 7:15 that happened. It takes some critical thinking to be able to summarize and get to the point. Work at leaving out the unimportant stuff.
If you're talking to someone you don't know very well, ask questions that aren't too personal and then let the person answer them. It takes a little while for kids to know what's appropriate and what isn't. I've met lots of adults who struggle with this too though. Your child's open house at school probably isn't the time to ask the teacher about her marriage troubles. Think a little before you pry. If it's a weighty question that you do feel you have a right to talk about, make sure the time and place is right. In the car is not it!!! Do not EVER bring up uncomfortable topics in a car. If you make a person feel trapped then they probably aren't going to love talking to you. And they may never ride in a car with you again! Seriously. Don't do this.
Show genuine interest in the person's answers. Sometimes you may not feel like talking and showing interest but if that's the case, then stay home from the party (or wherever). No one wants the antisocial guy (or girl) at the party. Is that how you want people to think of you? "Oh great, so and so is coming". Don't be that guy (or girl).
Don't interrupt. That's pretty basic but is still something that needs taught. I do it all the time! (Dang it.) I remember things and blurt them out. I need to stop that. It's rude!
Practice with your kids. It's surprising the number of families who don't spend time talking to one another. Dinner time is the perfect time to practice conversational skills. If you don't sit down to dinner with your kids, start! My husband and I inhale our food. We actually got to know one another because we were always at the front of the food line at college. This is something we need to work on because the dinner hour shouldn't take ten minutes. Our kids aren't allowed to leave the table till everyone's done eating (and neither are the husband and I). They have to stay at the table and make pleasant conversation. Learning to sit down at a table and eat is a good thing. There could be a whole blog post about the things kids learn from family style dinners at a table.
Do you have any tips for teaching your kids conversational skills? I would love to hear them!
To start with, there is a time and a place for conversation. In the middle of karate class or while in church isn't it. That's when you need to be listening, not talking. The karate teacher does not want to hear about your dream last night or the trip we took last weekend. Some teachers might but unless they ask specifically, class is not a time to share those things. Neither is while checking out at the store.
It's not all about you. Ask questions and remember the answers. I have a good memory and find it offensive when people don't remember me. I don't mean for that to sound egotistical at all but if I'm introduced to someone one week, I think they should remember me by the next week. Maybe not my name but there should be at least some spark of recognition if they were paying attention at all. If you're the kind of person who struggles with remembering people, work at it. Woooork at it! You don't have to remember their name even - just be honest and say "I'm so sorry I know we've met before but I can't remember your name." Or "Have we met before? I'm sorry I can't remember."
Wait your turn and listen. You might have something you want to say, but if your friend is talking you need to listen. Listening is a HUGE part of conversation because conversation is a two-way thing. It's different from talking which is just one-way. Most people have encountered someone who talks at them. Patient endurance is how you get through those people. I had a friend in high school and a lot of our time together was spent waiting for the other to stop talking so we could say something. We knew we were doing it and made a joke of it but genuine conversations aren't just about waiting for your turn to talk. You need to be paying attention to what the other person is saying.
Don't be afraid of pauses. Some people need a sec to collect their thoughts before they speak. I feel this way. Just because there's a pause doesn't mean you need to fill that. Take a breath. Relax. Not all conversations have to move at warp speed. Pay attention to the person you're talking to. I feel run over the top of when with someone who never allows for a pause so I can speak.
Don't be a dominator. No one likes talking to that person who won't shut up. And if you're the verbal one, try looking for clues that you're losing your audience. If their eyes glass over and they start looking around or at their watch, that's a clue. I would be HORRIFIED if I thought someone was just patiently waiting for me to shut up so they could get away. Pay attention!
Excessive details are annoying so try to stay on point. Your listener doesn't need to know that at 7am you did this and then at 7:15 that happened. It takes some critical thinking to be able to summarize and get to the point. Work at leaving out the unimportant stuff.
If you're talking to someone you don't know very well, ask questions that aren't too personal and then let the person answer them. It takes a little while for kids to know what's appropriate and what isn't. I've met lots of adults who struggle with this too though. Your child's open house at school probably isn't the time to ask the teacher about her marriage troubles. Think a little before you pry. If it's a weighty question that you do feel you have a right to talk about, make sure the time and place is right. In the car is not it!!! Do not EVER bring up uncomfortable topics in a car. If you make a person feel trapped then they probably aren't going to love talking to you. And they may never ride in a car with you again! Seriously. Don't do this.
Show genuine interest in the person's answers. Sometimes you may not feel like talking and showing interest but if that's the case, then stay home from the party (or wherever). No one wants the antisocial guy (or girl) at the party. Is that how you want people to think of you? "Oh great, so and so is coming". Don't be that guy (or girl).
Don't interrupt. That's pretty basic but is still something that needs taught. I do it all the time! (Dang it.) I remember things and blurt them out. I need to stop that. It's rude!
Practice with your kids. It's surprising the number of families who don't spend time talking to one another. Dinner time is the perfect time to practice conversational skills. If you don't sit down to dinner with your kids, start! My husband and I inhale our food. We actually got to know one another because we were always at the front of the food line at college. This is something we need to work on because the dinner hour shouldn't take ten minutes. Our kids aren't allowed to leave the table till everyone's done eating (and neither are the husband and I). They have to stay at the table and make pleasant conversation. Learning to sit down at a table and eat is a good thing. There could be a whole blog post about the things kids learn from family style dinners at a table.
Do you have any tips for teaching your kids conversational skills? I would love to hear them!
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Another divorce. What's going on??
I just heard about another couple we know who are getting divorced. My heart is heavy as I think about the number of people we know who are separated or getting divorced right now. Or who aren't even to that stage but are just having problems. So much pain. The people are young and old, believers and nonbelievers, some have kids and some don't, they live in different places across the U.S., and they have been married for various lengths of time. It's everywhere. What's going on??
It's made me feel a little reflective about my own marriage and what about it makes it work. My husband and I were young when we got married, 20 and 21. This year will be 14 years for us. I don't think it's just luck that we're here now. We're working at it! And God is helping us! Years 5-7 are the traditional bumpy ones and we had some bumps too. Over all it's been pretty great though and I'm so thankful for that. What advice would you have for someone getting married? What do you think makes a good marriage? Here are just a few things I thought of:
Get the order right. Our priorities should be God first, spouse second, kids third. Remember that your husband is only human. Don't look to him to fill the spaces in your heart that God should fill.
Be equally yoked. 2 Corinthian 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What's that verse mean? Here's another one. Deuteronomy 22:10 Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together. The picture of that is just silly isn't it? It wouldn't work. It also doesn't work well when one of the couple is a believer and one isn't. Being at very different places in your walk with God also makes things hard. When you know God, it should affect every single thing about you. And I would think it'd be awful hard to raise kids with someone who doesn't feel the same way you do about everything.
Don't marry the idea of someone. Marry who they are right then. It's good to see potential in your mate but he should be who you want to be married to right then when you do it. If you go into marriage planning on changing certain things you might be very disappointed. They might not ever change.
Don't be the enemy of your spouses dreams. My mom used to say this. It means if, for example, you know that more than anything in the world, your husband likes dogs and wants to have one someday, don't be surprised and act like a jerk when he wants to get one. If you know going into the marriage that your wife is a horse person or that she wants to have kids, those things shouldn't come as a surprise later. Make those decisions before you get married and your marriage will be easier.
Give some grace. A while back our pastor did a sermon series on marriage and said this: "There are things about you that the people in your life just put up with". Humbling reminder. There might be things about your husband that drive you crazy but I bet there's things about you that he's just putting up with too. Give some grace!
Fight fair. One of my very favorite things about my husband is that he fights fair. He's very black and white and analytical in his thinking. Justice and fairness are part of his being. In boxing, hitting below the belt means that you're aiming at some extremely sensitive stuff. Getting hit there is more painful. You know your spouse better than anyone and know what would hurt them. Don't do that when you're fighting. Or ever.
Be nice. I don't know how many times I've heard my husband say "I don't know what's so hard about being married. Just don't be a jerk." I think he's right. Be nice to your spouse. It doesn't matter if he deserves it or not. I once heard a wife say that she knew her husband loved butterscotch things but "ppffttt she wasn't making them." Made me sad for that husband. Your husband deserves more than that. If you know he likes something, make it for him. If you know it drives him crazy when you leave the cupboard doors open, stop doing that. If he wants the remote left in a certain place, leave it there! How hard is that??
Let it go. Pick your battles and don't bring up the old ones. Decide - is this the hill you want to die on? And sometimes it might be. But if it's not, let it go. The clothes on the floor or the placement of the remote are not things to harbor bitterness over. I once heard my mother-in-law say "I can either be crabby about this or I can choose not to be. Being mad about it's not going to change anything. It just ruins my mood." And she chooses not to be crabby about just about anything. Her goal in life is to have fun! That may not be your goal in life, but you can still choose not to let certain things ruin life.
Pray, pray, pray, pray. It's hard to have a hard spot towards someone you are praying for. If you're in a bumpy season, pray for your spouse. Prayer changes things and it'll change your attitude and mindset as well as bless the person you're praying for.
Marriage has seasons. Just like parenting has seasons, marriage has seasons too. As a parent, the baby years may be easy for you but the teen years hard. Or the teen years easy and the college years hard. Marriage goes through phases too and some are just going to be easier than others. Push through! As you live with your spouse and go through different jobs, houses, financial situations, just remember that everything is a season. It may be a great season or it may be a hard one. But it's just a season. Be committed to stay through all the seasons.
I think it was Dr. Dobson who said "be a student of your spouse". Pay attention to your husband. Learn his Love Language! Life changes you and the person you marry at 21 will probably not be the same at 50. Talk to him. And listen! Learn about the things he loves. Does he have hobbies? Show some interest. Even better, try to join him! Find things you can do together. That leads me to the next one. Date your spouse. We have four kids and we homeschool and so I cannot WAIT to get out of the house and be alone with my husband. We need that alone time. To check in, keep on the same page, plan things for our family, and just talk without being interrupted.
Canoodle. I have a whole blog post about that, so go ahead and find it. It has been my most read blog post BY FAR. Sex is a pretty important part of marriage so if that area is unhealthy, your marriage will suffer.
Do you have any advice on marriage? What do you think makes for a good marriage?
It's made me feel a little reflective about my own marriage and what about it makes it work. My husband and I were young when we got married, 20 and 21. This year will be 14 years for us. I don't think it's just luck that we're here now. We're working at it! And God is helping us! Years 5-7 are the traditional bumpy ones and we had some bumps too. Over all it's been pretty great though and I'm so thankful for that. What advice would you have for someone getting married? What do you think makes a good marriage? Here are just a few things I thought of:
Get the order right. Our priorities should be God first, spouse second, kids third. Remember that your husband is only human. Don't look to him to fill the spaces in your heart that God should fill.
Be equally yoked. 2 Corinthian 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What's that verse mean? Here's another one. Deuteronomy 22:10 Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together. The picture of that is just silly isn't it? It wouldn't work. It also doesn't work well when one of the couple is a believer and one isn't. Being at very different places in your walk with God also makes things hard. When you know God, it should affect every single thing about you. And I would think it'd be awful hard to raise kids with someone who doesn't feel the same way you do about everything.
Don't marry the idea of someone. Marry who they are right then. It's good to see potential in your mate but he should be who you want to be married to right then when you do it. If you go into marriage planning on changing certain things you might be very disappointed. They might not ever change.
Don't be the enemy of your spouses dreams. My mom used to say this. It means if, for example, you know that more than anything in the world, your husband likes dogs and wants to have one someday, don't be surprised and act like a jerk when he wants to get one. If you know going into the marriage that your wife is a horse person or that she wants to have kids, those things shouldn't come as a surprise later. Make those decisions before you get married and your marriage will be easier.
Give some grace. A while back our pastor did a sermon series on marriage and said this: "There are things about you that the people in your life just put up with". Humbling reminder. There might be things about your husband that drive you crazy but I bet there's things about you that he's just putting up with too. Give some grace!
Fight fair. One of my very favorite things about my husband is that he fights fair. He's very black and white and analytical in his thinking. Justice and fairness are part of his being. In boxing, hitting below the belt means that you're aiming at some extremely sensitive stuff. Getting hit there is more painful. You know your spouse better than anyone and know what would hurt them. Don't do that when you're fighting. Or ever.
Be nice. I don't know how many times I've heard my husband say "I don't know what's so hard about being married. Just don't be a jerk." I think he's right. Be nice to your spouse. It doesn't matter if he deserves it or not. I once heard a wife say that she knew her husband loved butterscotch things but "ppffttt she wasn't making them." Made me sad for that husband. Your husband deserves more than that. If you know he likes something, make it for him. If you know it drives him crazy when you leave the cupboard doors open, stop doing that. If he wants the remote left in a certain place, leave it there! How hard is that??
Let it go. Pick your battles and don't bring up the old ones. Decide - is this the hill you want to die on? And sometimes it might be. But if it's not, let it go. The clothes on the floor or the placement of the remote are not things to harbor bitterness over. I once heard my mother-in-law say "I can either be crabby about this or I can choose not to be. Being mad about it's not going to change anything. It just ruins my mood." And she chooses not to be crabby about just about anything. Her goal in life is to have fun! That may not be your goal in life, but you can still choose not to let certain things ruin life.
Pray, pray, pray, pray. It's hard to have a hard spot towards someone you are praying for. If you're in a bumpy season, pray for your spouse. Prayer changes things and it'll change your attitude and mindset as well as bless the person you're praying for.
Marriage has seasons. Just like parenting has seasons, marriage has seasons too. As a parent, the baby years may be easy for you but the teen years hard. Or the teen years easy and the college years hard. Marriage goes through phases too and some are just going to be easier than others. Push through! As you live with your spouse and go through different jobs, houses, financial situations, just remember that everything is a season. It may be a great season or it may be a hard one. But it's just a season. Be committed to stay through all the seasons.
I think it was Dr. Dobson who said "be a student of your spouse". Pay attention to your husband. Learn his Love Language! Life changes you and the person you marry at 21 will probably not be the same at 50. Talk to him. And listen! Learn about the things he loves. Does he have hobbies? Show some interest. Even better, try to join him! Find things you can do together. That leads me to the next one. Date your spouse. We have four kids and we homeschool and so I cannot WAIT to get out of the house and be alone with my husband. We need that alone time. To check in, keep on the same page, plan things for our family, and just talk without being interrupted.
Canoodle. I have a whole blog post about that, so go ahead and find it. It has been my most read blog post BY FAR. Sex is a pretty important part of marriage so if that area is unhealthy, your marriage will suffer.
Do you have any advice on marriage? What do you think makes for a good marriage?
Friday, May 16, 2014
Enough with the Frozen Songs!
My kids have been singing the songs from “Frozen”
nonstop. We own the movie but have only
watched it a few times and yet they know every single word to all the
songs. For me this is such a good
reminder how much sinks into those little minds. Our children grow up so quickly. Right now they are excited to learn about God
but it’s not always going to be this way.
This is the perfect time to be filling up their minds with Godly
things. There’s nothing wrong with
Disney songs but there are better things they could use their mental energy on.
One of my most favorite resources for doing this are cd’s
that are just Bible verses to music. Two
of the cd’s we like most are “Hide ‘em In My Heart” volumes 1 and 2. http://www.amazon.com/Hide-Em-Your-Heart-Vol/dp/B001EJH4SW I also love Seeds Family Worship cd’s. Their website http://www.seedsfamilyworship.com/ has seven
volumes of cd’s. These are really great
because they come with one to keep and one to share. I love sharing! Memorizing verses is such an important
discipline for any believer and the
younger you start with your kids the easier it is. For kids who can’t read, verses to music is one of the easiest ways for you to
help them memorize scripture. What you
think about affects you. It influences
the decisions you make, the words you say…
I love having verses running through my head. And I like how it changes the tone of our
home.
Some of my favorite movies for my children are the Superbook
movies. Did you watch these as a
kid? A young boy and girl go back in
time with a robot and learn from a Bible story.
These movies are being remade and the quality is so good. The music is good and the lessons from the
stories are good too. When you sign up
for the dvd club these come to you in the mail and come with one to watch and
one to share. I love that! I’ve been told that they have phone apps with
study tools to use with your kids too. I
haven’t tried those but it sounds like another good teaching resource. https://www.cbn.com/giving/special/SBDVDClub.aspx?cpid=PPC_SB-PTD-GOOG-02&m=037427&gclid=CK-U-qbbpr4CFYlafgod0noAyQ
I think church history is important and have a strong desire
for my children to know about Godly heroes.
There’s a lot to be learned from these people. Part of our homeschool year has been reading
biographies and so far have made it
through George Muiller, William Carey, and Hudson Taylor. We are currently reading about Gladys Alward. I love YWAM publishing’s series called
Christian Hero’s: Then and Now and that's where I got the books we've been reading. This company has several different reading levels and there's also a history curriculum you can
use if you homeschool. http://www.ywampublishing.com/c-70-christian-heroes-then-now.aspx
Another dvd series I’ve used with my kids is by
Torchlighters. They have twelve movies about
different missionaries and Godly people in history. These are for older children. Our favorites have been about Jim Elliott,
Gladys Alward, Corrie Ten Boom, and William Booth. http://www.torchlighters.org/
Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
What can you do to help your children learn God's Word today?
Friday, May 9, 2014
Things I learned from Cubbies
This year I was the director of Cubbies in our church's Awana program and it
was such a good year. These are just a
few of the things that I learned.
Kids act different for adults
other than their parents. I am a prime
example of this. As a child I rarely got
in trouble from my parents. I behaved
and obeyed them most of the time. I did
not act this way for everyone though. I
have one piano teacher that I remember being horrible to and I'm sure my sweet
mom never knew. It was really nice that for my first year of doing this, I knew almost all of the kids in our
class. It helped that I knew the
different things some parents were struggling with. But some of those kids who were really a
challenge for their parents were the sweetest Cubbies we had. Others, who I knew to be so sweet at home,
did not behave and obey in class. Kids
act different when their parents aren't around. Don't just assume you know how your child is acting.
God doesn't call you to something
without giving you a heart for it.
Never say never I guess, but God doesn't usually ask you do to something
that you have absolutely no interest in.
If He calls you to be a worship pastor, He'll give you a love of music. If He asks you to become a missionary, you'll have some interest in other cultures. If
He asks you to teach Sunday School, you'll probably like kids. If you feel God calling you to do something
you don't want to do, pray about it and I'm guessing He'll change your heart. Also, if you’re not involved in any
ministries, think through what your interests are. Is there a way that you could use that for
God?
When God asks you to do something
He'll equip you for it. I was a leader in Cubbies for three years.
During those years, I wasn't planning on becoming the director but I couldn't have done it
without that time of learning. Sometimes
you don’t even know God is equipping you.
My brother works at a prison for boys.
When he was young he was in 4-H and it’s something my mom really felt
like he needed to do. I wasn’t in
4-H. She didn’t have that same urging
for me. My brother recently started the
first ever 4-H Club in a youth correctional facility and he couldn’t have done
that if he didn’t have his own experiences with the program to know how it
worked. These boys are learning skills
and it’s been a good thing! And praise the Lord we had a mom who was listening to the Holy Spirit.
Ministry is a sacrifice. I had to make choices and adjust
family things this year and it wasn't easy. It meant I had to say “no” to some
things. Some good things. I couldn't have done it if I hadn't adjusted the rest of life because we just can't do it all. When we do what God asks us to do it will be
worth it though. My kids learned a lot
from watching me. They helped set up our
room each week and they were involved in the planning and the lessons. In helping me prepare for our Easter lesson
my four year old asked Jesus to come into his heart. Praise the Lord!
You will grow when working in
ministry. Ask anyone who’s gone on a
mission’s trip and they’ll tell you they were the ones who grew and learned
from their experience. This year as I
was teaching those sweet little people, I learned my Bible better. Through the planning and preparation for
lessons I studied my Bible, prayed and I memorized lots of verses. Good things!
God doesn’t do things like we
do. I had certain things in mind for the
year that didn’t work out how I had planned them. God’s ways are better though. Often I find myself praying that things will
go smoothly but that’s not how God works.
And that’s not a very mature way to pray. If everything is smooth and easy we take the credit. Any ministry where
people are getting all the credit isn’t going to be fully blessed by God. He wants the glory.
Working for the Lord invites
enemy attack. I have never gone through
as much spiritual warfare as I went through this year. It was a lonely and stressful year in many ways. The enemy doesn’t want us learning, growing,
and serving God. When we’re doing those
things, we can expect enemy activity. You
could take it as a sign that you’re on the right track. Do you know how the enemy attacks you
personally? Knowing how can help you prepare for when it happens. Does he plant seeds of doubt or anxiety? Do
you get physically sick? Do you have to deal your thought life being invaded
with lustful, bitter, or negative thoughts? Do thoughts of the sins in your past keep
harassing you? Filling your mind with
Godly things helps push the enemy back.
Read your Bible! Have Christian
music playing in your home, car, and ipod.
I especially love music that is just Bible verses to music. Our kids have several cd’s like that and I
feel like it adds a protective “covering” to our home. It replaces those lies the enemy is trying to
tell us with the truth of God’s word.
Every child is precious. Some may be stinkers but every one is precious. We had such a sweet group of kids and it was
a joy to get to spend time with them each week.
The parents of these kids were a wonderful bunch too and they worked so
hard. They brought snacks, helped prep
crafts, filled in for leaders, and they spent lots of time helping their kids
memorize verses. I wish every child was
as lucky as these little people are. Every
child deserves to have parents who take such good care of them because every
child is precious to God.
Matthew 19:14
but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Water sinks to it's own level
Have you heard that saying? I used to hear it a lot growing up. My parents own a well drilling business and my mom grew up on a farm so I know that lots of lessons can be learned from water. Literally that saying means that no matter what size or shape of a container, water will always be level on the surface. Figuratively, it means that people will always seek out where they are most comfortable.
I guess I probably knew this, but was recently reminded that some people change their behavior when they're around me. I could find that annoying or could let it hurt my feelings but I'm choosing to take it as a compliment (at least for that incident). Do you have people in your life that clean up their behavior when they're around you? I heard a story of something that happened to someone and then later heard the other version of the story. I had gotten the cleaned up version. I'm glad. Do people stop cussing and telling dirty jokes when you're around? (The saying "you kiss your grandma with that mouth?" comes to mind.) Do they put their inappropriate ring tones on silent? Do they save that gossip for later when you've left? If so then good for you - people know what you're all about! Or is it the other way around? Are they changing their behavior for the worse? Do people save those dirty jokes for you because they know you'd appreciate it? Do they call you with the gossip because they know you'd want to hear it? What kind of behavior do you bring out in other people?
When Jesus walked into a room I think people probably acted differently. When you have Jesus and walk into a room, people should correspondingly act different. Your relationship with Him is not meant to be private. People should know about it and act differently when they are around you.
Yesterday I posted about not complaining and venting on facebook. I think I do a pretty good job of that but I can't say the same for my spoken words. I complain too much. And complainers seek out complainers. I know which friends I can complain to and which ones I can't. Shame on me. I shouldn't be doing it at all! It's so easy to let those closest to us know what we're really thinking but unless it's going to be useful, beneficial and helpful it'd probably be better to just keep it to ourselves. Something for me to work on.
Lots of verses talk about our words. This passage in James 3:3-12 convicting. As you go through today think about your words and what you are bringing out in others. Do people seek you out to gossip and complain? Friends, this should not be. We should be bringing out the best in those around us. And just like the words in our facebook posts, our spoken words are important too.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 5:4
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking,which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
I think that says it pretty plainly. Proverbs has lots of verses about our words too.
I guess I probably knew this, but was recently reminded that some people change their behavior when they're around me. I could find that annoying or could let it hurt my feelings but I'm choosing to take it as a compliment (at least for that incident). Do you have people in your life that clean up their behavior when they're around you? I heard a story of something that happened to someone and then later heard the other version of the story. I had gotten the cleaned up version. I'm glad. Do people stop cussing and telling dirty jokes when you're around? (The saying "you kiss your grandma with that mouth?" comes to mind.) Do they put their inappropriate ring tones on silent? Do they save that gossip for later when you've left? If so then good for you - people know what you're all about! Or is it the other way around? Are they changing their behavior for the worse? Do people save those dirty jokes for you because they know you'd appreciate it? Do they call you with the gossip because they know you'd want to hear it? What kind of behavior do you bring out in other people?
When Jesus walked into a room I think people probably acted differently. When you have Jesus and walk into a room, people should correspondingly act different. Your relationship with Him is not meant to be private. People should know about it and act differently when they are around you.
Yesterday I posted about not complaining and venting on facebook. I think I do a pretty good job of that but I can't say the same for my spoken words. I complain too much. And complainers seek out complainers. I know which friends I can complain to and which ones I can't. Shame on me. I shouldn't be doing it at all! It's so easy to let those closest to us know what we're really thinking but unless it's going to be useful, beneficial and helpful it'd probably be better to just keep it to ourselves. Something for me to work on.
Lots of verses talk about our words. This passage in James 3:3-12 convicting. As you go through today think about your words and what you are bringing out in others. Do people seek you out to gossip and complain? Friends, this should not be. We should be bringing out the best in those around us. And just like the words in our facebook posts, our spoken words are important too.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 5:4
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking,which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
I think that says it pretty plainly. Proverbs has lots of verses about our words too.
Proverbs 17:27
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
Proverbs 29:20
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
And I love this one.
Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
What are your words saying about you today?
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Oh be careful little hands what you type....
Do you have the Sunday School song "Oh Be Careful Little Eyes" in your head? That's what I was going for. :)
Anyways, facebook is kindof a big deal. I think I know about two people who don't use it. I like it because I live far away from family and from many of my closest friends. It's an easy way to stay connected with those people. I also like it because I'm a stay-at-home mom and it's my portal to another world. The world outside this house.
While it's a wonderful site for many reasons, and while it really feels like we're connecting with people, when you put something in writing it's different than having a conversation. You can't see the person's facial expressions as they typed their update. You can't hear the tone of their voice or see the emotions they have while responding. It's so easy to be misunderstood, especially by people you don't know very well. And most of us have facebook friends that we don't actually know very well. When you put something in writing it can be read, and reread, and reread, passed around, and reread. It's easier to forget the details of a spoken conversation.
When you say something on facebook, it's not between one or two people like it would have been in a face to face conversation. It's like standing onstage in a room full of three hundred people. Some people are in the back and not really paying attention, but quite a few are right up front and probably are. And every time one of those three hundred people responds to you, their three hundred friends can "hear" what you said too. If we thought about that before typing on facebook I think there would be less typing on facebook.
What do your posts say about you? They probably give clues about your interests. Anyone reading my status updates would figure out that I've got children, that we homeschool, and that I love hymns. Our posts also show our heart just like spoken words would.
Philippians 4:8 says this: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Our posts on facebook end up being things that others think about. What is a serious responsibility we have!! Especially as believers. What kinds of thoughts are you leaving with others? For example, I really REALLY don't like it when people use LMAO or LMFAO in a response or post. I don't want the words that those A's and F's stand for bouncing around in my brain and every time I see it it makes me angry. If that person was standing in front of me actually saying those words, my mama reflex would tell them to watch their mouth. I may actually forget myself and smack them!
Are you guilty of venting about things or complaining about something you don't like? I'm sure we all are, but if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it (or type it). Lemme say that again. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY IT. That is such an easy rule to follow if you are struggling about something you want to post. (And maybe a gentle reminder if you aren't struggling and feel very free to vent and complain.) As you go about your facebooking day, think about what you post. It is true? Is it noble? It is right or pure? Is it lovely or admirable? Is it excellent or praiseworthy? If it isn't, think twice about posting it. If it isn't, what good can come of it?? Other people's thoughts are going to be affected by what you post so take that seriously. There will be a lot of people who read your posts and don't "like" them or comment on them but are still thinking about what you wrote. They may watch a show that you mentioned or read a book you talked about. They may try a recipe you posted and you will never know that they did those things because of you.
A while back a friend complained about something and I had it on my brain all day. Before I knew it, I was all worked up and crabby over it too and it wasn't even something that had happened to me. I don't want the things I write about to have that affect on people. I want the things I share to be uplifting and encouraging. I want to bring out the best in people. I want to leave people with something to smile about or be thankful for. I want to be a peacemaker and I want to point people towards the Heavenly Father. In the past I was a big 'ol venter on facebook and I sadly regret it. I wish I could take back those words. I also wish that I was as good at that "only say nice things" rule in face to face conversations as I try to be in the written ones. Something to work on. For now I'll leave you with this:
Luke 6:45
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Anyways, facebook is kindof a big deal. I think I know about two people who don't use it. I like it because I live far away from family and from many of my closest friends. It's an easy way to stay connected with those people. I also like it because I'm a stay-at-home mom and it's my portal to another world. The world outside this house.
While it's a wonderful site for many reasons, and while it really feels like we're connecting with people, when you put something in writing it's different than having a conversation. You can't see the person's facial expressions as they typed their update. You can't hear the tone of their voice or see the emotions they have while responding. It's so easy to be misunderstood, especially by people you don't know very well. And most of us have facebook friends that we don't actually know very well. When you put something in writing it can be read, and reread, and reread, passed around, and reread. It's easier to forget the details of a spoken conversation.
When you say something on facebook, it's not between one or two people like it would have been in a face to face conversation. It's like standing onstage in a room full of three hundred people. Some people are in the back and not really paying attention, but quite a few are right up front and probably are. And every time one of those three hundred people responds to you, their three hundred friends can "hear" what you said too. If we thought about that before typing on facebook I think there would be less typing on facebook.
What do your posts say about you? They probably give clues about your interests. Anyone reading my status updates would figure out that I've got children, that we homeschool, and that I love hymns. Our posts also show our heart just like spoken words would.
Philippians 4:8 says this: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Our posts on facebook end up being things that others think about. What is a serious responsibility we have!! Especially as believers. What kinds of thoughts are you leaving with others? For example, I really REALLY don't like it when people use LMAO or LMFAO in a response or post. I don't want the words that those A's and F's stand for bouncing around in my brain and every time I see it it makes me angry. If that person was standing in front of me actually saying those words, my mama reflex would tell them to watch their mouth. I may actually forget myself and smack them!
Are you guilty of venting about things or complaining about something you don't like? I'm sure we all are, but if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it (or type it). Lemme say that again. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY IT. That is such an easy rule to follow if you are struggling about something you want to post. (And maybe a gentle reminder if you aren't struggling and feel very free to vent and complain.) As you go about your facebooking day, think about what you post. It is true? Is it noble? It is right or pure? Is it lovely or admirable? Is it excellent or praiseworthy? If it isn't, think twice about posting it. If it isn't, what good can come of it?? Other people's thoughts are going to be affected by what you post so take that seriously. There will be a lot of people who read your posts and don't "like" them or comment on them but are still thinking about what you wrote. They may watch a show that you mentioned or read a book you talked about. They may try a recipe you posted and you will never know that they did those things because of you.
A while back a friend complained about something and I had it on my brain all day. Before I knew it, I was all worked up and crabby over it too and it wasn't even something that had happened to me. I don't want the things I write about to have that affect on people. I want the things I share to be uplifting and encouraging. I want to bring out the best in people. I want to leave people with something to smile about or be thankful for. I want to be a peacemaker and I want to point people towards the Heavenly Father. In the past I was a big 'ol venter on facebook and I sadly regret it. I wish I could take back those words. I also wish that I was as good at that "only say nice things" rule in face to face conversations as I try to be in the written ones. Something to work on. For now I'll leave you with this:
Luke 6:45
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
Monday, May 5, 2014
God doesn't need our help
I think that one of most sad stories in the Bible is the story of Jacob and
Esau. When God told Rebekah that she was
pregnant with twins, He said that the older would serve the younger. Esau was the older twin and years later when
Rebekah saw that her husband Isaac was going to give him his blessing (which
was rightly his) she panicked and remembered what God had said. Instead of waiting on the Lord though she
took matters into her own hands. She
manipulated and lied and got what she wanted.
Jacob received the blessing, but at such a high cost. In Esau's anger he threatened to kill
Jacob. Jacob fled for his life and
Rebekah never saw him again.
That alone is enough to make my mama heart ache. Jacob was her favorite. He was her precious son. She knew that God had something big planned
for him (He had told her so!) but she didn't wait on the Lord. She didn't pray about it or talk to her
husband and because of her sin she never saw him again. I have a son who is precious to me. I can't imagine never seeing him again and
even worse, it being my own fault.
To me, the second very sad thing about this story is that she destroyed the
relationship between her two sons. She
played favorites and that's not ok. It
is completely normal to have more in common with one child over the other. It's not ok though, to give to one at the
expense of the other. Every child
deserves to have a mom that they can trust with their whole heart. Can your child trust that you love them
unconditionally and only have their best interests in mind? It seems so basic but I know a lot of people
who do not have that kind of mother.
Part of my job as a mom is to see that my kids are friends and that can't
happen if I'm playing favorites. The
health of my family tree depends on my children being close. Generations of people will be affected by my kids’
relationships with each other. Do you
ever think of your job as a mom affecting that many people? Because it does. Rebekah wronged her son Esau. She drove a wedge between her sons and
because of it their decedents became bitter enemies. The thought that my children might not be
close, let alone be enemies, is another thing that makes my mama heart
ache. Oh how I want my kids to be
close. I want my grandkids to have
cousins they are friends with. I want
the network of aunts, uncles, and extended family that each of my kids creates
to be a blessing and source of security to one another. I can't imagine how awful it would be if my
sin caused a split in the family tree.
Another sad thing about this story is that Rebekah and Isaac's relationship
must have been affected. The Bible story
doesn't talk about this aspect of things but can you imagine how Isaac must
have felt to have his wife manipulate like this? That alone would hurt but to have the
manipulation end so badly only made it worse.
There are always consequences to sin and the people closest to us get to
pay the price along with us. If you're
married that means your spouse. Isaac
was tricked and missed out on years and years of Jacob's life, all because of
his wife's sin.
This whole story just makes my heart ache.
Maybe because I can so easily see myself doing something like this. I'm a doer.
It is so easy to think you know God's plans and then jump ahead before
waiting on Him for direction. We know
that God is God but how often do we try and help Him out? It's a good thing to remember that He doesn't
need us in order to accomplish His will. He doesn't need our money or our gifts and abilities in order to work out His
plans. He doesn't need us. He wants us though. He wants obedient followers. People who will wait on Him for direction and see His will. We were created for His glory. We were not created because He needed our
help. God had a plan for Jacob's life
and he didn't need Rebekah to work out that plan. God is good though. Jacob and Esau were reconciled. Genesis 33:4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and
embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.
Do you have something that you are trying to "help" God
with? Stop before you cause more harm
than good. Seek God's plan and wait on
His timing.
Friday, April 18, 2014
The false sense of relief
Tax season has ended and with it comes a false sense of relief that we made it. Actually my husband is very busy at work until April 30th so April 15th always feels a little anti-climatic. After tax season there is always an adjustment period too. I think that military and trucker wives deserve some sort of award. When you're used to being the one in complete control, it's an adjustment to have that hard working husband come home. Even though it's wonderful to have him home, it's an adjustment. We've been doing this long enough that now I expect that adjustment period and so that makes it a little easier.
He's tired and needs time to rest. That's another reason why April 15th is anti-climatic. He may be done working a million hours but he's not fully present and back in the swing of family life until May. Or June! More waiting for us. While we're waiting we're going to try and be patient and go have fun. Our family has a zoo membership and that's pretty much the only "fun" thing that we do. While we're waiting for him to get all rested up, we're going to go do some new fun things or things that we don't get to do very often. This will give him time at home alone and will give us something to do.
Tax season always ends up being VERY busy for the kids and I because they are involved in a few extra things for those months. A few extra things + four kids adds up quickly and I am really looking forward to May when life slows down a little. Finding extra things to do with the kids outside the house is really the last thing that I want to do right now. What I'd like is have some time at home alone myself. The quickest way to get hubby rested up is to give him that time though, so that's what we're going to do.
Easter always falls during tax season. It's taken years for me to remember this and plan on it. Holidays are always so much work, especially for moms, but when it's a holiday that you go into already tired you need to adjust your expectations. Because I get to care for our kids mostly by myself for months, I'm tired during tax season. I need to remember this and give myself some slack. My house may not be as clean as I'd like it for our Easter get-together. That's ok. I may not get lots of Easter crafts done with our kids. That's ok too. I need to give myself permission to cut a few corners to make things easier on myself so we can make happy memories with our kids. We've had several Easter's where my husband and I were both really crabby. Crabby parents affect the holiday! I don't want to do that and I need to adjust things to prevent it for this one very special day.
I'm not that old but one of the nice things about getting older is you learn from your experiences and can hopefully plan on some things. There are certain times in your life that are just harder. It could be based on work hours, family relationships, the age of your kids...but some times are just going to be more work. Tax season is my "more work" time and if I get stressed out and upset throughout, it's not going to help anything. I know it'll end. And I am now prepared for it to end in May not April.
What's your "more work" time? Is it hard for you to have young kids? That'll end (and more quickly than you think possible). Are there times of year that are harder at work for you or your spouse? Are there just seasons in the year that are more work? Like softball season or the holiday season. The holidays are a ton of work for us moms. So is sick season. Thinking that through and expecting it may help.
Tax season is just one part of our year and while it's hard there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I'm thankful my husband has a job. I think it's good for our kids to see their dad working hard to provide for us. We learn a lot from watching our parents. I'm thankful my husband has a job he's great at. It's fun to watch him be great and it's a privilege to make some things in his life easier so he can go off and be great. I'm thankful I used to be an accountant so I can relate to his work day. He was telling me about his work day once and how on the day before the farmer deadline (did you know there was a farmer deadline?) one of the partners from another office called him and pretended to be a new client asking to bring in information. I know this partner because I used to work with her, and I understand what it's like to have clients bring in information the day before a deadline. The story was so funny but if I hadn't been an accountant I would have missed out fully understanding the humor. I'm so thankful I can relate to my husband's work day on a deeper level.
Tax season is a season. Now I know it effects our family past April 15th. Now I know that since we're more tired at Easter, my expectations of the holiday need to be adjusted. And hopefully I will think of new things to be thankful for during this season every year.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven
He's tired and needs time to rest. That's another reason why April 15th is anti-climatic. He may be done working a million hours but he's not fully present and back in the swing of family life until May. Or June! More waiting for us. While we're waiting we're going to try and be patient and go have fun. Our family has a zoo membership and that's pretty much the only "fun" thing that we do. While we're waiting for him to get all rested up, we're going to go do some new fun things or things that we don't get to do very often. This will give him time at home alone and will give us something to do.
Tax season always ends up being VERY busy for the kids and I because they are involved in a few extra things for those months. A few extra things + four kids adds up quickly and I am really looking forward to May when life slows down a little. Finding extra things to do with the kids outside the house is really the last thing that I want to do right now. What I'd like is have some time at home alone myself. The quickest way to get hubby rested up is to give him that time though, so that's what we're going to do.
Easter always falls during tax season. It's taken years for me to remember this and plan on it. Holidays are always so much work, especially for moms, but when it's a holiday that you go into already tired you need to adjust your expectations. Because I get to care for our kids mostly by myself for months, I'm tired during tax season. I need to remember this and give myself some slack. My house may not be as clean as I'd like it for our Easter get-together. That's ok. I may not get lots of Easter crafts done with our kids. That's ok too. I need to give myself permission to cut a few corners to make things easier on myself so we can make happy memories with our kids. We've had several Easter's where my husband and I were both really crabby. Crabby parents affect the holiday! I don't want to do that and I need to adjust things to prevent it for this one very special day.
I'm not that old but one of the nice things about getting older is you learn from your experiences and can hopefully plan on some things. There are certain times in your life that are just harder. It could be based on work hours, family relationships, the age of your kids...but some times are just going to be more work. Tax season is my "more work" time and if I get stressed out and upset throughout, it's not going to help anything. I know it'll end. And I am now prepared for it to end in May not April.
What's your "more work" time? Is it hard for you to have young kids? That'll end (and more quickly than you think possible). Are there times of year that are harder at work for you or your spouse? Are there just seasons in the year that are more work? Like softball season or the holiday season. The holidays are a ton of work for us moms. So is sick season. Thinking that through and expecting it may help.
Tax season is just one part of our year and while it's hard there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I'm thankful my husband has a job. I think it's good for our kids to see their dad working hard to provide for us. We learn a lot from watching our parents. I'm thankful my husband has a job he's great at. It's fun to watch him be great and it's a privilege to make some things in his life easier so he can go off and be great. I'm thankful I used to be an accountant so I can relate to his work day. He was telling me about his work day once and how on the day before the farmer deadline (did you know there was a farmer deadline?) one of the partners from another office called him and pretended to be a new client asking to bring in information. I know this partner because I used to work with her, and I understand what it's like to have clients bring in information the day before a deadline. The story was so funny but if I hadn't been an accountant I would have missed out fully understanding the humor. I'm so thankful I can relate to my husband's work day on a deeper level.
Tax season is a season. Now I know it effects our family past April 15th. Now I know that since we're more tired at Easter, my expectations of the holiday need to be adjusted. And hopefully I will think of new things to be thankful for during this season every year.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven
Monday, March 3, 2014
Lent is not just for Catholics
Easter is a big deal. Like the whole point of everything. I grew up with it being a special day but it wasn't until I was an adult that I started to actively participate in the season of Lent. Lent is the period of 40 days before Easter (excluding Sundays) and starts on Ash Wednesday. Catholics traditionally give up something, as Lent is a period of fasting and reflection in preparation for Easter.
Montana is a very Catholic state and there Lent is something that Protestants do not observe. It's a Catholic thing. I grew up with lots of classmates who were Catholic and have memories of them going to church more often, giving up gum, or candy, not eating meat on Fridays etc but many didn't really know why they were doing it. As an adult I have enjoyed finding Protestant friends who do different things during the season of Lent to mentally prepare for Easter. The years where I have thought about this season have made Easter so much more meaningful. I have also started doing things for Lent with my own kids. I don't want Easter to be just a fun day with candy and new clothes. I want it to be a special time and celebration as we remember and learn about Jesus.
The first and easiest way to teach my kids has been using the Jesus Storybook Bible and and Easter Reading Plan. This children's Bible is so good. Every story in it points towards Jesus and is truly the first thing I've ever read where I fully understood this overarching theme in the Bible. (Isn't it nice when you learn from what you are doing for your kids?) There are 44 stories in this Bible with the 40th story being Easter. The reading plan is very simple - start with the first one on Ash Wednesday.
There are lots of Lenten reading plans and devotionals for adults that are good as well. I've done this one and liked it. And it only cost $1.35 on Amazon.
I've heard that this "The Big God Story" by Michelle Anthony is another book that shows the whole story from creation to the cross. I haven't read it yet but it's on my list of next books to buy. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1434764540/ref=gno_cart_title_4?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER
Using a set of Resurrection Eggs is a fun way to tell your kids about Easter. I've never done this before but have the stuff to make my set soon. (Or you can buy them on Amazon, CBD.com or Focus on the Family's website) You use an empty egg carton and plastic eggs, and fill each one with something related to Easter. Each day you open the egg and read the verse that goes along with the object, with your kids. Or you could go through them all at once to tell the story. The last egg is usually empty to represent the empty tomb. I have a friend who came up with several things to put in eggs after the empty one because she wanted to focus more on the person of Jesus and remember that it doesn't end with the empty tomb. I love the extras she came up with and she said I could share them here. Here is a link to two blogs with instructions, pictures, and printables and then some extra ideas if you want to go beyond the empty tomb.
http://www.thissimplehome.com/2012/03/homemade-resurrection-eggs-printable.html
http://lifeyourway.net/diy-ressurection-eggs-easter-story-book-printables/
In the past I've made Resurrection Rolls with my kids the day before Easter and these are fun and tasty. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/resurrection-rolls/. You roll marshmallows (Jesus) in butter and cinnamon and sugar (to represent the spices put on Jesus after death). Place in the center of cresent rolls (the tomb), pinch closed around the marshmallows, and bake. And the marshmallows disappear! Leaving an empty tomb.
http://www.eastercross.org/
This yard decoration is new for our family this year. The other side is blank and on Easter morning you turn it around to say "He is Risen". I like it and it's a simple way to involve your kids and witness to your neighbors.
Movies we usually watch near Easter include "The Passion" and "The True Easter Story" with Ray Vander Laan. http://www.amazon.com/True-Easter-Story-Vander-Laan/dp/0310242444/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1393882094&sr=1-1&keywords=easter+zondervan
I've also heard that this one is very good for kids and is only around $5 from Amazon.
During the season of Lent might also be a good time to make "Blessing Bags" for the homeless with your kids. To visit a retirement home or send care packages to soldiers overseas. I have been so encouraged to find friends that actively work at recognizing this season. You do not have to be Catholic to observe Lent. It is a time to be teaching your kids about the meaning of Easter and reflecting for yourself on what it means to follow Him. Ash Wednesday's only a few days away. I encourage you to find some new ways teach your children this year. Do you have any things you usually do with your family? I'd love to hear your ideas!
Montana is a very Catholic state and there Lent is something that Protestants do not observe. It's a Catholic thing. I grew up with lots of classmates who were Catholic and have memories of them going to church more often, giving up gum, or candy, not eating meat on Fridays etc but many didn't really know why they were doing it. As an adult I have enjoyed finding Protestant friends who do different things during the season of Lent to mentally prepare for Easter. The years where I have thought about this season have made Easter so much more meaningful. I have also started doing things for Lent with my own kids. I don't want Easter to be just a fun day with candy and new clothes. I want it to be a special time and celebration as we remember and learn about Jesus.
The first and easiest way to teach my kids has been using the Jesus Storybook Bible and and Easter Reading Plan. This children's Bible is so good. Every story in it points towards Jesus and is truly the first thing I've ever read where I fully understood this overarching theme in the Bible. (Isn't it nice when you learn from what you are doing for your kids?) There are 44 stories in this Bible with the 40th story being Easter. The reading plan is very simple - start with the first one on Ash Wednesday.There are lots of Lenten reading plans and devotionals for adults that are good as well. I've done this one and liked it. And it only cost $1.35 on Amazon.Using a set of Resurrection Eggs is a fun way to tell your kids about Easter. I've never done this before but have the stuff to make my set soon. (Or you can buy them on Amazon, CBD.com or Focus on the Family's website) You use an empty egg carton and plastic eggs, and fill each one with something related to Easter. Each day you open the egg and read the verse that goes along with the object, with your kids. Or you could go through them all at once to tell the story. The last egg is usually empty to represent the empty tomb. I have a friend who came up with several things to put in eggs after the empty one because she wanted to focus more on the person of Jesus and remember that it doesn't end with the empty tomb. I love the extras she came up with and she said I could share them here. Here is a link to two blogs with instructions, pictures, and printables and then some extra ideas if you want to go beyond the empty tomb.
http://www.thissimplehome.com/2012/03/homemade-resurrection-eggs-printable.html
http://lifeyourway.net/diy-ressurection-eggs-easter-story-book-printables/
- Bible - Road to Emmaus – Luke 24:25 And he said to them, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.
- Fish- Jesus appears to Peter and the disciples – John 21 –
- Clouds - Ascension – Luke 24:51 - While he blessed them, he parted from them and was carried up into heaven. Acts 1:9
- Dove - Holy Spirit – Pentecost Acts 2
In the past I've made Resurrection Rolls with my kids the day before Easter and these are fun and tasty. http://allrecipes.com/recipe/resurrection-rolls/. You roll marshmallows (Jesus) in butter and cinnamon and sugar (to represent the spices put on Jesus after death). Place in the center of cresent rolls (the tomb), pinch closed around the marshmallows, and bake. And the marshmallows disappear! Leaving an empty tomb. This yard decoration is new for our family this year. The other side is blank and on Easter morning you turn it around to say "He is Risen". I like it and it's a simple way to involve your kids and witness to your neighbors.
Movies we usually watch near Easter include "The Passion" and "The True Easter Story" with Ray Vander Laan. http://www.amazon.com/True-Easter-Story-Vander-Laan/dp/0310242444/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1393882094&sr=1-1&keywords=easter+zondervanI've also heard that this one is very good for kids and is only around $5 from Amazon.
During the season of Lent might also be a good time to make "Blessing Bags" for the homeless with your kids. To visit a retirement home or send care packages to soldiers overseas. I have been so encouraged to find friends that actively work at recognizing this season. You do not have to be Catholic to observe Lent. It is a time to be teaching your kids about the meaning of Easter and reflecting for yourself on what it means to follow Him. Ash Wednesday's only a few days away. I encourage you to find some new ways teach your children this year. Do you have any things you usually do with your family? I'd love to hear your ideas!
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