Last month I went to a homeschool conference and one of the speakers I heard was Dawn Hudson. She is such a great speaker and a rep for "My Father's World" curriculum. The title of her talk was "Mom and the Terrible, Horrible Homeschooling Day". I've heard her speak before and had takeaways from her talk that I remembered and used throughout the year, so I was especially hopeful about this one.
To start with she said you need to have goals or the reasons you are homeschooling, written down and put in a place where you'll see them often. On the fridge, on your bathroom mirror, wherever you'll be constantly reminded of why you are doing this. It's so tempting, when you are having a bad day, to start calling the schools asking for information about registering your child. But you can't give up! There may be a time when you don't homeschool anymore but that needs to be a prayerful decision made with your spouse - not a reaction to a terrible day. Having the reasons you are doing this fresh in your mind helps you get through that bad day. You need to know why you are homeschooling. People will ask you and it shouldn't be an invasive question - you should know why you are doing this. It's not some big secret. Or at least it shouldn't be. Your kids should also know why you are doing this. People are going to ask them too!
Next - meet physical needs. Don't just push through. Does your child have blood sugar issues? Do they need a snack? That's usually what's going when the drama escalates here. I don't like giving my kids snacks because then they won't eat their meals as well. Plus if I feed one kid then I have to feed four kids and if I'm already in the kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I want out! I've got other things to do besides feed people! But, sometimes they really do need to eat. Grocery money is tight but having snacks I can just hand them is sometimes worth my sanity. If I'm hungry or thirsty I go get a snack or a drink. I forget sometimes what it must be like to have to ask someone else every time for those things. How frustrating it must be to be a kid sometimes. Especially when that crabby grown-up says "no".
Take a break. I hate taking breaks. I'd rather just get finished but sometimes the kid just needs a break and a little physical activity. Make them run laps around the yard, go jump on the trampoline - whatever - but get that blood moving so oxygen can get back to the brain! Sometimes the break may need to be a nap. Have them go lay down for a little bit. We still have one napper in the house so that means we still have four nappers in the house. I need the break so I always make my kids go lay down for a little bit in the afternoon. The three oldest don't sleep but need that down time. That's their time to read, play quietly, or watch a movie. And sometimes, I need to wait to finish school until after nap time.
Look at the problem another way. I don't like doing this either. I just wanna push through! The work we are doing is simple and I don't feel like I need to get all crazy creative just so they can add 2 and 2 a new way. But, sometimes that's what's needed. Instead you can try using a hands-on activity. Dawn Hudson suggested sidewalk chalk - for math problems, sentences, pretty much whatever can be done on paper could be done in your driveway. Different manipulatives - beans, counting blocks, cereal, shoes, anything! Use a video - there are videos for every subject imaginable and sometimes it's ok if they just go watch a math video. Also you can use the internet as a resource. You don't have to recreate the wheel. Use the tools you can find online to help! http://www.welltrainedmind.com/ This website is supposed to be wonderful. I haven't used it yet and just keep forgetting I guess but they have all kinds of forums and useful information. Remember that homeschooling does not have to look like public schooling does. Your child does not have to sit still in their desk doing worksheets until a bell rings. There are lots of other ways for them to learn.
Know the absolutes - what has to be done. Plan your school year out so you know what needs to be done. If you sit down with the calendar and figure out how many school days you'll have (180 is pretty standard) you can estimate how many days a month you've got to work with. Plan out what they need to do each month so that you can relax a little when you just need a day off. You also don't have to do every subject every day. A suggestion Dawn had from a talk I went to last year was to start school slowly. If you start with only one or two subject and take your time getting into the full swing of everything, then the end of the year is also nice because the school work tapers off.
Find the humor in the situation. The way we look at things affects how we handle them. If you go into the day looking for the funny, it's gonna be funnier. I had an argument with one child today about a math problem and it could have been funny. I was pretty mad so it wasn't but it could have been. Seriously child, I have a bachelor's degree. I KNOW what 8+7 is and you are wrong! Could have been funny, but it wasn't.
Be a student your spouse and your children. I think Dr. Dobson said this. There is always more to be learning about the people closest to us. You should know your child well enough to know what their learning style is. If they are auditory learners, read it out loud. If they need to see the problem written out, write it out! There are lots of resources out there for helping to figure out learning styles. Last year I found this book and thought it was so helpful. It's called "The Way They Learn: How to discover and teach to your child's strenths" by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I learned a lot about myself in the process which gave me a greater sense of peace about who God created me to be.I can tell by the look on my husbands face when he hits the door, the kind of day he had. I can tell by the way he's walking, the way his jaw is set, the way his eyebrows are arched and the crinkles by his eyes. Study your children too. Spend time thinking about your children's behavior. Are they acting normal? Is there something bothering them? Are they tired? I usually notice things after a few days (I'm a little slow). Most kids don't just spill it if you quiz them so find a way to talk to them. It's easier for most people to talk while they are doing something. Fold laundry, pull weeds, or empty the dishwasher with your child and try to get them talking that way. Don't trap them in the car, barrage them with questions or drop a bomb on them. Do something with them and give them space if they need it.
Call/Text a friend! Homeschooling is so much easier if you have other friends who homeschool. We belong to a homeschool co-op that is wonderful. When we started I hadn't really thought about how I would be gaining friends too. The moms in this group have been a wonderful source of encouragement and information and I'm so thankful for all of them! Sometimes if you're having a rough homeschooling day you need to talk to someone else who knows exactly what you're going through. Call, text, email, or facebook them! And be ready to pass on encouragement on the days they need it.
Lastly, remember that everyone has rough days. Sometimes your kids are just having a bad day. Don't take it personal. It's not all about you. I have a page of verses taped to my homeschool closet and they have been helpful too.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:24
The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment