Sometimes you have to be smarter than the little people. I know it's hard when our brains are tired, but you really can do it. Outsmart that little stinker. Yesterday my kids made a disaster of the living room. There were toys EVERYWHERE. I'm a little bit type-A so having a messy house is the hardest part of having kids for me. I told them to clean up and they started complaining (which didn't fly). Then I told them I was counting to twenty and wanted them to clean up as much as possible in that time. I started counting and wahlah! Little bodies scurrying to get toys into buckets. I was so impressed with myself. If you make things like cleaning into a game you're likely to have better results. One friend has her sons race to see who can get their pajamas on faster. Genius! I have a pokey kid but she's super competitive so making things into a race is the one thing that gets her moving. Another friend has her son say "bye" to the toys when they leave the store. Helps prevent a leaving fit. My husband is a pro at distracting our kids with questions. They could be in mid-fit and he calmly asks them about something totally unrelated and they immediately switch gears and go into great detail to answer him. It's lucky for us that our biggest fit thrower is easily distractable.
My two year old is a stinker at meal times. I finally figured out that she doesn't want to get her fingers dirty. She'll let me feed her or she'll do it if she's got certain silverware but she'll throw the mother of all fits to prevent getting her little fingers dirty. It shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to realize what her deal was. Sometimes we get so busy "doing" and forget to think. At least I do. But, I thought through it and now I know. Now I'm usually prepared to out think her at meal times. I've got silverware. I ask her questions in mid-fit, or I break into song really loudly. I can be louder than she can. If my kids see that their fit makes me sing, (and sing loudly) that stops them too.
I used to always let my kids sleep with water. It took forever for one of them to stay dry at night and hmmm.... ya think the two things were related? If you give them water, they will pee. (That also works for potty training. If you want them to pee - give them tons to drink.) So, the point of this little blog post is to think. You can do it - go outsmart those little stinkers! And then share it with your mom friends so they can do it too!
Friday, August 16, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Sexy, Nudy, Sex, Sex
**This post has been edited from its original version.
Got your attention? Our husbands need sex. I mean NEEED sex. In a way that our female brains just don't comprehend. Yes I realize that you are busy. You are tired. Maybe exhausted. But it's important to him. If you know he likes chocolate cake, do you make it for him? Sure. If you know that he needs a lunch tomorrow, do you make it for him? Of course you do! Well he needs sex more. More than a clean house, more than freedom to go hunting or golfing, more than dinner tonight. (and it would probably be faster than all that time in the kitchen) And you know what else? You agreed to that when you got married. When you get married, two become one and your body is not your own anymore.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
There is an ENTIRE book of the Bible about sex. A whole book!! My Bible knowledge may be escaping me at the moment but I don't remember any other books of the Bible as solely devoted to a single subject as the Song of Solomon. I think that probably means it's important. Song of Solomon is racy - with words like "breast" and everything. In Bible times you had to be a certain age to even read it. If something is important to God, the enemy knows it and will try to thwart it at all costs. When I started this post, all hell broke loose around here. Seriously. I had kids crying, pouring water in each others lunch, manhandling the cat, throwing mud at each other, more crying... I don't think it was a coincidence. I think that this is something I was supposed to post about and the enemy was trying his best to stop it. Having a healthy marriage is important to God. And I'm pretty sure that involves sex. Here are two good books on the topic:
If you're not in the mood, try getting in the mood. That means get away from your kids. Date your spouse. I've polled friends lately and am shocked and how few of them go on dates with their husbands. I want out of this house alone with my hubby any chance I can get!! It doesn't have to be expensive - could be Taco Bell for all I care. There are millions of things you could do for a date that don't cost a lot. Can't afford child care? Try trading babysitting with friends. I have several friends that have date nights at home. Feed the kids in another room with a movie while you dine together alone. Or wait till they are in bed and really go nuts. Eat ice cream by yourselves! (You thought I was going to say something else didn't you...go do that too!)
Are you going through a dry spell? Get out of your yoga pants. Put on make up. Do your hair. Buy some new undies. And get out of your yoga pants! Send him a racy text or (gasp) picture. (Make double double sure you're sending it to him and not the piano teacher) Too tired at night? Do it in the morning! Up at night going pee? Get him on the way back to bed! I doubt he'll mind the interruption in sleep. Feeling self conscious about your chubby post-baby body? I doubt he cares. I'm sure he'd prefer chubby sex to no sex. Is he being a jerk? Sex may help that too. Maybe if you are putting his needs above your own he will start to do the same. Just really don't feel like it? So what. When you are married, your husbands interests need to become important to you and I guarantee he's interested in sex. Whatever it takes, make it a priority. Put it on the calendar if you have to. Add it to your "to do" list. Send yourself a reminder, shoot for a goal number of times a week, WHATEVER it takes to help you get it done, do it!
Your husband would die for you. Have you ever put much thought in that? This man that you married would truly die for you if he had to. God has called you to love and respect him, whether he deserves it or not, and loving him in marriage involves sex. Husband need sex and need to feel pursued by us. Know what else? He can't read your mind. I'll just say that again. HE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. It might be obvious to you that the trash is overflowing and needs to be taken out. If it's not obvious to him, ASK him. Don't just assume he's being lazy by not doing it. It's probably not on his radar. All husband radars are different. If it would free you up to have sex if he took out the trash or helped more with the kids, say so. I bet he'd do both! He's not a mind reader though. The things he did to woo you when you were dating are probably outdated. Tired mamas need different things. Help the guy out and just say what you need.
Pray about it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us. He cares about our marriages and the things we're struggling with. He knows anyways, so talk to Him. Pray about it and He'll help. Here are thirty verses on marital sex: http://www.openbible.info/topics/marital_sex
Got your attention? Our husbands need sex. I mean NEEED sex. In a way that our female brains just don't comprehend. Yes I realize that you are busy. You are tired. Maybe exhausted. But it's important to him. If you know he likes chocolate cake, do you make it for him? Sure. If you know that he needs a lunch tomorrow, do you make it for him? Of course you do! Well he needs sex more. More than a clean house, more than freedom to go hunting or golfing, more than dinner tonight. (and it would probably be faster than all that time in the kitchen) And you know what else? You agreed to that when you got married. When you get married, two become one and your body is not your own anymore.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
There is an ENTIRE book of the Bible about sex. A whole book!! My Bible knowledge may be escaping me at the moment but I don't remember any other books of the Bible as solely devoted to a single subject as the Song of Solomon. I think that probably means it's important. Song of Solomon is racy - with words like "breast" and everything. In Bible times you had to be a certain age to even read it. If something is important to God, the enemy knows it and will try to thwart it at all costs. When I started this post, all hell broke loose around here. Seriously. I had kids crying, pouring water in each others lunch, manhandling the cat, throwing mud at each other, more crying... I don't think it was a coincidence. I think that this is something I was supposed to post about and the enemy was trying his best to stop it. Having a healthy marriage is important to God. And I'm pretty sure that involves sex. Here are two good books on the topic:
If you're not in the mood, try getting in the mood. That means get away from your kids. Date your spouse. I've polled friends lately and am shocked and how few of them go on dates with their husbands. I want out of this house alone with my hubby any chance I can get!! It doesn't have to be expensive - could be Taco Bell for all I care. There are millions of things you could do for a date that don't cost a lot. Can't afford child care? Try trading babysitting with friends. I have several friends that have date nights at home. Feed the kids in another room with a movie while you dine together alone. Or wait till they are in bed and really go nuts. Eat ice cream by yourselves! (You thought I was going to say something else didn't you...go do that too!)
Are you going through a dry spell? Get out of your yoga pants. Put on make up. Do your hair. Buy some new undies. And get out of your yoga pants! Send him a racy text or (gasp) picture. (Make double double sure you're sending it to him and not the piano teacher) Too tired at night? Do it in the morning! Up at night going pee? Get him on the way back to bed! I doubt he'll mind the interruption in sleep. Feeling self conscious about your chubby post-baby body? I doubt he cares. I'm sure he'd prefer chubby sex to no sex. Is he being a jerk? Sex may help that too. Maybe if you are putting his needs above your own he will start to do the same. Just really don't feel like it? So what. When you are married, your husbands interests need to become important to you and I guarantee he's interested in sex. Whatever it takes, make it a priority. Put it on the calendar if you have to. Add it to your "to do" list. Send yourself a reminder, shoot for a goal number of times a week, WHATEVER it takes to help you get it done, do it!
Your husband would die for you. Have you ever put much thought in that? This man that you married would truly die for you if he had to. God has called you to love and respect him, whether he deserves it or not, and loving him in marriage involves sex. Husband need sex and need to feel pursued by us. Know what else? He can't read your mind. I'll just say that again. HE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. It might be obvious to you that the trash is overflowing and needs to be taken out. If it's not obvious to him, ASK him. Don't just assume he's being lazy by not doing it. It's probably not on his radar. All husband radars are different. If it would free you up to have sex if he took out the trash or helped more with the kids, say so. I bet he'd do both! He's not a mind reader though. The things he did to woo you when you were dating are probably outdated. Tired mamas need different things. Help the guy out and just say what you need.
Pray about it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us. He cares about our marriages and the things we're struggling with. He knows anyways, so talk to Him. Pray about it and He'll help. Here are thirty verses on marital sex: http://www.openbible.info/topics/marital_sex
Wear your diamonds!
Have you ever looked up and realized that it's been over a week since your kids had a bath? You have no idea when anyone's teeth got brushed last, you don't remember the last time you actually cooked (didn't just make quesadillas or frozen waffles), and you've been in your yoga pants for who knows how long? Sometimes being a mom is about just surviving. I think my kids are getting to the age where things are getting easier but there will still be seasons to just get through. Like this month. Oh my word this month! Three of our kids have birthdays this month. We started school, my husband and I celebrate our thirteenth anniversary, our cat is getting spayed, I've had three dentist appointments, we start Awana (I'm the Cubbies director this year) and between my husband and I we've had at least five meetings. We've also had people over for dinner twice and had play dates with friends. Two of my kids are in gymnastics and the other has piano. Most of those things were very fun so I'm glad for them but sometimes life is about surviving it.
And sometimes, while we're just surviving it we should put on our diamonds. It's easy to get so busy "doing" and forget to do fun things like that. Because I'm a stay-at-home mom, most of my "doing" is at home. I'm not being lazy if I wear yoga pants day after day - it kinda makes more sense when I'm cleaning my house or weeding the garden. But sometimes it feels good to put on your diamonds. Or your cute boots. I love boots. I own many pairs - black, brown, tall, taller, short, spiky heals, no heals - but I rarely get to wear them. Even though we are crazy busy I am usually at home and I'm not being lazy in my dress, I'm just being practical. It wouldn't make sense to wear some clothes when muddy kids could ruin them.
It's nice to have to things to look forward to while you're surviving a phase. It might be your diamonds or boots, or it might be ice cream or a margarita after the kids in bed. What do you enjoy doing? Do you even remember? Being able to look forward to reading, running, scrapbooking, or some other hobby might keep you sane. Maybe it's your favorite show with your husband or maybe even canoodling!! (There could be a WHOLE other post on canoodling) When you're frustrated or feeling blue, try to give yourself something to look forward to. Go canoodle. Put on your diamonds. Life is hard but it might be more fun that way. :)
And sometimes, while we're just surviving it we should put on our diamonds. It's easy to get so busy "doing" and forget to do fun things like that. Because I'm a stay-at-home mom, most of my "doing" is at home. I'm not being lazy if I wear yoga pants day after day - it kinda makes more sense when I'm cleaning my house or weeding the garden. But sometimes it feels good to put on your diamonds. Or your cute boots. I love boots. I own many pairs - black, brown, tall, taller, short, spiky heals, no heals - but I rarely get to wear them. Even though we are crazy busy I am usually at home and I'm not being lazy in my dress, I'm just being practical. It wouldn't make sense to wear some clothes when muddy kids could ruin them.
It's nice to have to things to look forward to while you're surviving a phase. It might be your diamonds or boots, or it might be ice cream or a margarita after the kids in bed. What do you enjoy doing? Do you even remember? Being able to look forward to reading, running, scrapbooking, or some other hobby might keep you sane. Maybe it's your favorite show with your husband or maybe even canoodling!! (There could be a WHOLE other post on canoodling) When you're frustrated or feeling blue, try to give yourself something to look forward to. Go canoodle. Put on your diamonds. Life is hard but it might be more fun that way. :)
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
The Horrible Homeschooling Day
Oh my word today was awful. AWFUL!!! Everyone who homeschools has awful school days. How do you handle them? What do you do?? Today I didn't handle things well and if I'm completely mature and honest I'd say that most of the time we have awful school days it's my fault. Obviously there is (at least) one child being a stinker about their work, but it's how I handle it that determines how the day goes. If I wake up early enough to have two cups of coffee before the kids are awake our day goes smoother. And even better, if I wake up early enough to have a two cups of coffee, exercise and have a quiet time, my day is MUCH better. A while back I had a blog post about setting the tone in your home. http://parkermama.blogspot.com/2013/07/mom-sets-tone.html
Last month I went to a homeschool conference and one of the speakers I heard was Dawn Hudson. She is such a great speaker and a rep for "My Father's World" curriculum. The title of her talk was "Mom and the Terrible, Horrible Homeschooling Day". I've heard her speak before and had takeaways from her talk that I remembered and used throughout the year, so I was especially hopeful about this one.
To start with she said you need to have goals or the reasons you are homeschooling, written down and put in a place where you'll see them often. On the fridge, on your bathroom mirror, wherever you'll be constantly reminded of why you are doing this. It's so tempting, when you are having a bad day, to start calling the schools asking for information about registering your child. But you can't give up! There may be a time when you don't homeschool anymore but that needs to be a prayerful decision made with your spouse - not a reaction to a terrible day. Having the reasons you are doing this fresh in your mind helps you get through that bad day. You need to know why you are homeschooling. People will ask you and it shouldn't be an invasive question - you should know why you are doing this. It's not some big secret. Or at least it shouldn't be. Your kids should also know why you are doing this. People are going to ask them too!
Next - meet physical needs. Don't just push through. Does your child have blood sugar issues? Do they need a snack? That's usually what's going when the drama escalates here. I don't like giving my kids snacks because then they won't eat their meals as well. Plus if I feed one kid then I have to feed four kids and if I'm already in the kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I want out! I've got other things to do besides feed people! But, sometimes they really do need to eat. Grocery money is tight but having snacks I can just hand them is sometimes worth my sanity. If I'm hungry or thirsty I go get a snack or a drink. I forget sometimes what it must be like to have to ask someone else every time for those things. How frustrating it must be to be a kid sometimes. Especially when that crabby grown-up says "no".
Take a break. I hate taking breaks. I'd rather just get finished but sometimes the kid just needs a break and a little physical activity. Make them run laps around the yard, go jump on the trampoline - whatever - but get that blood moving so oxygen can get back to the brain! Sometimes the break may need to be a nap. Have them go lay down for a little bit. We still have one napper in the house so that means we still have four nappers in the house. I need the break so I always make my kids go lay down for a little bit in the afternoon. The three oldest don't sleep but need that down time. That's their time to read, play quietly, or watch a movie. And sometimes, I need to wait to finish school until after nap time.
Look at the problem another way. I don't like doing this either. I just wanna push through! The work we are doing is simple and I don't feel like I need to get all crazy creative just so they can add 2 and 2 a new way. But, sometimes that's what's needed. Instead you can try using a hands-on activity. Dawn Hudson suggested sidewalk chalk - for math problems, sentences, pretty much whatever can be done on paper could be done in your driveway. Different manipulatives - beans, counting blocks, cereal, shoes, anything! Use a video - there are videos for every subject imaginable and sometimes it's ok if they just go watch a math video. Also you can use the internet as a resource. You don't have to recreate the wheel. Use the tools you can find online to help! http://www.welltrainedmind.com/ This website is supposed to be wonderful. I haven't used it yet and just keep forgetting I guess but they have all kinds of forums and useful information. Remember that homeschooling does not have to look like public schooling does. Your child does not have to sit still in their desk doing worksheets until a bell rings. There are lots of other ways for them to learn.
Know the absolutes - what has to be done. Plan your school year out so you know what needs to be done. If you sit down with the calendar and figure out how many school days you'll have (180 is pretty standard) you can estimate how many days a month you've got to work with. Plan out what they need to do each month so that you can relax a little when you just need a day off. You also don't have to do every subject every day. A suggestion Dawn had from a talk I went to last year was to start school slowly. If you start with only one or two subject and take your time getting into the full swing of everything, then the end of the year is also nice because the school work tapers off.
Find the humor in the situation. The way we look at things affects how we handle them. If you go into the day looking for the funny, it's gonna be funnier. I had an argument with one child today about a math problem and it could have been funny. I was pretty mad so it wasn't but it could have been. Seriously child, I have a bachelor's degree. I KNOW what 8+7 is and you are wrong! Could have been funny, but it wasn't.
Be a student your spouse and your children. I think Dr. Dobson said this. There is always more to be learning about the people closest to us. You should know your child well enough to know what their learning style is. If they are auditory learners, read it out loud. If they need to see the problem written out, write it out! There are lots of resources out there for helping to figure out learning styles. Last year I found this book and thought it was so helpful. It's called "The Way They Learn: How to discover and teach to your child's strenths" by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I learned a lot about myself in the process which gave me a greater sense of peace about who God created me to be.
I can tell by the look on my husbands face when he hits the door, the kind of day he had. I can tell by the way he's walking, the way his jaw is set, the way his eyebrows are arched and the crinkles by his eyes. Study your children too. Spend time thinking about your children's behavior. Are they acting normal? Is there something bothering them? Are they tired? I usually notice things after a few days (I'm a little slow). Most kids don't just spill it if you quiz them so find a way to talk to them. It's easier for most people to talk while they are doing something. Fold laundry, pull weeds, or empty the dishwasher with your child and try to get them talking that way. Don't trap them in the car, barrage them with questions or drop a bomb on them. Do something with them and give them space if they need it.
Call/Text a friend! Homeschooling is so much easier if you have other friends who homeschool. We belong to a homeschool co-op that is wonderful. When we started I hadn't really thought about how I would be gaining friends too. The moms in this group have been a wonderful source of encouragement and information and I'm so thankful for all of them! Sometimes if you're having a rough homeschooling day you need to talk to someone else who knows exactly what you're going through. Call, text, email, or facebook them! And be ready to pass on encouragement on the days they need it.
Lastly, remember that everyone has rough days. Sometimes your kids are just having a bad day. Don't take it personal. It's not all about you. I have a page of verses taped to my homeschool closet and they have been helpful too.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:24
The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Last month I went to a homeschool conference and one of the speakers I heard was Dawn Hudson. She is such a great speaker and a rep for "My Father's World" curriculum. The title of her talk was "Mom and the Terrible, Horrible Homeschooling Day". I've heard her speak before and had takeaways from her talk that I remembered and used throughout the year, so I was especially hopeful about this one.
To start with she said you need to have goals or the reasons you are homeschooling, written down and put in a place where you'll see them often. On the fridge, on your bathroom mirror, wherever you'll be constantly reminded of why you are doing this. It's so tempting, when you are having a bad day, to start calling the schools asking for information about registering your child. But you can't give up! There may be a time when you don't homeschool anymore but that needs to be a prayerful decision made with your spouse - not a reaction to a terrible day. Having the reasons you are doing this fresh in your mind helps you get through that bad day. You need to know why you are homeschooling. People will ask you and it shouldn't be an invasive question - you should know why you are doing this. It's not some big secret. Or at least it shouldn't be. Your kids should also know why you are doing this. People are going to ask them too!
Next - meet physical needs. Don't just push through. Does your child have blood sugar issues? Do they need a snack? That's usually what's going when the drama escalates here. I don't like giving my kids snacks because then they won't eat their meals as well. Plus if I feed one kid then I have to feed four kids and if I'm already in the kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I want out! I've got other things to do besides feed people! But, sometimes they really do need to eat. Grocery money is tight but having snacks I can just hand them is sometimes worth my sanity. If I'm hungry or thirsty I go get a snack or a drink. I forget sometimes what it must be like to have to ask someone else every time for those things. How frustrating it must be to be a kid sometimes. Especially when that crabby grown-up says "no".
Take a break. I hate taking breaks. I'd rather just get finished but sometimes the kid just needs a break and a little physical activity. Make them run laps around the yard, go jump on the trampoline - whatever - but get that blood moving so oxygen can get back to the brain! Sometimes the break may need to be a nap. Have them go lay down for a little bit. We still have one napper in the house so that means we still have four nappers in the house. I need the break so I always make my kids go lay down for a little bit in the afternoon. The three oldest don't sleep but need that down time. That's their time to read, play quietly, or watch a movie. And sometimes, I need to wait to finish school until after nap time.
Look at the problem another way. I don't like doing this either. I just wanna push through! The work we are doing is simple and I don't feel like I need to get all crazy creative just so they can add 2 and 2 a new way. But, sometimes that's what's needed. Instead you can try using a hands-on activity. Dawn Hudson suggested sidewalk chalk - for math problems, sentences, pretty much whatever can be done on paper could be done in your driveway. Different manipulatives - beans, counting blocks, cereal, shoes, anything! Use a video - there are videos for every subject imaginable and sometimes it's ok if they just go watch a math video. Also you can use the internet as a resource. You don't have to recreate the wheel. Use the tools you can find online to help! http://www.welltrainedmind.com/ This website is supposed to be wonderful. I haven't used it yet and just keep forgetting I guess but they have all kinds of forums and useful information. Remember that homeschooling does not have to look like public schooling does. Your child does not have to sit still in their desk doing worksheets until a bell rings. There are lots of other ways for them to learn.
Know the absolutes - what has to be done. Plan your school year out so you know what needs to be done. If you sit down with the calendar and figure out how many school days you'll have (180 is pretty standard) you can estimate how many days a month you've got to work with. Plan out what they need to do each month so that you can relax a little when you just need a day off. You also don't have to do every subject every day. A suggestion Dawn had from a talk I went to last year was to start school slowly. If you start with only one or two subject and take your time getting into the full swing of everything, then the end of the year is also nice because the school work tapers off.
Find the humor in the situation. The way we look at things affects how we handle them. If you go into the day looking for the funny, it's gonna be funnier. I had an argument with one child today about a math problem and it could have been funny. I was pretty mad so it wasn't but it could have been. Seriously child, I have a bachelor's degree. I KNOW what 8+7 is and you are wrong! Could have been funny, but it wasn't.
Be a student your spouse and your children. I think Dr. Dobson said this. There is always more to be learning about the people closest to us. You should know your child well enough to know what their learning style is. If they are auditory learners, read it out loud. If they need to see the problem written out, write it out! There are lots of resources out there for helping to figure out learning styles. Last year I found this book and thought it was so helpful. It's called "The Way They Learn: How to discover and teach to your child's strenths" by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. I learned a lot about myself in the process which gave me a greater sense of peace about who God created me to be.I can tell by the look on my husbands face when he hits the door, the kind of day he had. I can tell by the way he's walking, the way his jaw is set, the way his eyebrows are arched and the crinkles by his eyes. Study your children too. Spend time thinking about your children's behavior. Are they acting normal? Is there something bothering them? Are they tired? I usually notice things after a few days (I'm a little slow). Most kids don't just spill it if you quiz them so find a way to talk to them. It's easier for most people to talk while they are doing something. Fold laundry, pull weeds, or empty the dishwasher with your child and try to get them talking that way. Don't trap them in the car, barrage them with questions or drop a bomb on them. Do something with them and give them space if they need it.
Call/Text a friend! Homeschooling is so much easier if you have other friends who homeschool. We belong to a homeschool co-op that is wonderful. When we started I hadn't really thought about how I would be gaining friends too. The moms in this group have been a wonderful source of encouragement and information and I'm so thankful for all of them! Sometimes if you're having a rough homeschooling day you need to talk to someone else who knows exactly what you're going through. Call, text, email, or facebook them! And be ready to pass on encouragement on the days they need it.
Lastly, remember that everyone has rough days. Sometimes your kids are just having a bad day. Don't take it personal. It's not all about you. I have a page of verses taped to my homeschool closet and they have been helpful too.
Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:24
The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
Psalm 107:1
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Happy Birthday Little Man
He was my third c-section. We had to be at the hospital at 6am and he was born at 8:32am. He weighed 9 lbs 4 oz. He was so big he had some blood sugar issues and had to be given formula right away because I couldn't nurse him. I reacted badly to the anesthesia and had then blood pressure issues in recovery. It felt like it took forever before I got to see him. My poor husband was starting to get so stressed that they wouldn't let him in to me. When I finally did see baby boy I couldn't believe
Everything about this little guy was easier than his sisters had been. The pregnancy was easier. The hospital stay was easier. Recovery wasn't because I had a latex allergy I didn't know about and reacted to the catheter. Then found out I was allergic to sulfa drugs. But the adjustment to him was easier because he wasn't fussy. He was a good sleeper, a good eater, and a mellow/happy baby. He is still that way. He's almost always pleasant. He needs to feel listened to and all kids probably do but it's especially stressful to him to feel like he isn't being heard. Being in the middle of four kids makes that hard sometimes and having three sisters makes that especially hard.
Right now my kids just got up and I'm listening to them find all his birthday party decorations. The sounds of happy kids are wonderful - his sisters are so happy for him that it's his special day. He's
Monday, August 5, 2013
Why we homeschool
Today is our first day of school. We homeschool if you didn't know that. I like to start at the beginning of August because it's hot and yucky here in August and by now our kids are bored and ready to get back to their routine. If we start early like this then we can take more time off during the year and finish in May. This our third year homeschooling and our kids are starting second grade, first grade, and preschool.
Why do we homeschool? Lots of people ask us this. It probably wouldn't have been my first choice but as my husband and I prayed about our family we both felt like this what what God was asking us to do. We are being obedient to God's plan for our family. Here are some of the other reasons:
1. We want our children's education to be God focused. Our English curriculum talks about how God made words and our words are to be true, right etc. I love this. God is also the focus of our history and science and one of the subjects we study is the Bible.
2. We want to be the main influence in our children's lives - not other kids or adults.
3. We want our kids to have time for other activities. We're usually done with school by noon at the latest. If our kids were in public school they would get home around 2pm then have home work to do. I would never want my kids signed up for activities because I'd feel like I barely saw them or we just didn't have time. Last year our kids took piano lessons and acting classes, did soccer, basketball, baseball, swim lessons, gymnastics, Awana, and we were involved in our home school group. It was busy but fun and we had time for everything!
4. We want our kids to be able to go at their own pace in school. If they struggle or excel in a subject we can adjust. Or if they love a subject we can spend more time on that. Our second child has a December birthday and she would have had to wait until she was almost six to start kindergarten. Because we homeschool I was able to start her the August she was four (almost five) and she was more than ready.
These are some of our reasons. We have nothing against public school and don't judge anyone who makes that choice for their family. Homeschooling is not for everyone and is not God's plan for every family. We appreciate the friends and family that are supportive of our decision to homeschool. I was kindof surprised by some of the judgement we got when we first started this. How on earth could someone else tell me what was best for my kids? I'M the one who is praying about it. We aren't about pleasing people but obeying God and since this is what He asked of us, this is what we're gonna do. I don't know long we will homeschool so will follow God's leading about that. For now we are enjoying it (for the most part :) and I'm looking forward to another year with our kids.
One of the most rewarding things I have ever done has been teaching our oldest two kids to read. It's not rocket science and I used a book that told me what to do but I still felt awesome. I did that!! And they both read well!
We belong to a homeschool group and it has been such a great experience. Our kids go to class every Friday. This year our second grader will be doing a writing class that focuses on missionaries. I'm teaching in our first grader's class and they are doing world geography, and our preschooler will be in an ABC based class. Our homeschool group goes on field trips and last year we went to a dairy, visited a bakery at the supermarket, a pumpkin patch, and toured In-N-Out. They also had a bowling party, a Fall party, a track meet, went to Magic Mountain, and had a snow day. In the past we've also gone to the Monteray Aquarium. Throughout the year the little kids were paired with older kids for Book Buddies and had reading time together each week. The kids played games, learned the pledge, sang patriotic songs, did crafts, memorized verses, and enjoyed the year together. At the end of the year they had an Open House where the kids performed songs and verses they'd memorized, and showed off their work from the year. The friends our kids and I have made from this group have been such a blessing and we're looking forward to another year together.
Why do we homeschool? Lots of people ask us this. It probably wouldn't have been my first choice but as my husband and I prayed about our family we both felt like this what what God was asking us to do. We are being obedient to God's plan for our family. Here are some of the other reasons:
1. We want our children's education to be God focused. Our English curriculum talks about how God made words and our words are to be true, right etc. I love this. God is also the focus of our history and science and one of the subjects we study is the Bible.
2. We want to be the main influence in our children's lives - not other kids or adults.
3. We want our kids to have time for other activities. We're usually done with school by noon at the latest. If our kids were in public school they would get home around 2pm then have home work to do. I would never want my kids signed up for activities because I'd feel like I barely saw them or we just didn't have time. Last year our kids took piano lessons and acting classes, did soccer, basketball, baseball, swim lessons, gymnastics, Awana, and we were involved in our home school group. It was busy but fun and we had time for everything!
4. We want our kids to be able to go at their own pace in school. If they struggle or excel in a subject we can adjust. Or if they love a subject we can spend more time on that. Our second child has a December birthday and she would have had to wait until she was almost six to start kindergarten. Because we homeschool I was able to start her the August she was four (almost five) and she was more than ready.
These are some of our reasons. We have nothing against public school and don't judge anyone who makes that choice for their family. Homeschooling is not for everyone and is not God's plan for every family. We appreciate the friends and family that are supportive of our decision to homeschool. I was kindof surprised by some of the judgement we got when we first started this. How on earth could someone else tell me what was best for my kids? I'M the one who is praying about it. We aren't about pleasing people but obeying God and since this is what He asked of us, this is what we're gonna do. I don't know long we will homeschool so will follow God's leading about that. For now we are enjoying it (for the most part :) and I'm looking forward to another year with our kids.
One of the most rewarding things I have ever done has been teaching our oldest two kids to read. It's not rocket science and I used a book that told me what to do but I still felt awesome. I did that!! And they both read well!
We belong to a homeschool group and it has been such a great experience. Our kids go to class every Friday. This year our second grader will be doing a writing class that focuses on missionaries. I'm teaching in our first grader's class and they are doing world geography, and our preschooler will be in an ABC based class. Our homeschool group goes on field trips and last year we went to a dairy, visited a bakery at the supermarket, a pumpkin patch, and toured In-N-Out. They also had a bowling party, a Fall party, a track meet, went to Magic Mountain, and had a snow day. In the past we've also gone to the Monteray Aquarium. Throughout the year the little kids were paired with older kids for Book Buddies and had reading time together each week. The kids played games, learned the pledge, sang patriotic songs, did crafts, memorized verses, and enjoyed the year together. At the end of the year they had an Open House where the kids performed songs and verses they'd memorized, and showed off their work from the year. The friends our kids and I have made from this group have been such a blessing and we're looking forward to another year together.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Why should I discipline my child?
Someone recently told my husband that our children were very well behaved. Compliments like that are so nice to hear (especially when you are going through a rough patch). One of the kindest things you can do for your child is to discipline them. People like to be around well behaved kids. The way you parent affects the way others think of your children. It's an unfair thing to do to your child to let them act like a brat. It makes other people not like them and as a parent, wouldn't that bother you to know that people dislike your children? I would hate to think someone was thinking "Oh great - here comes that Parker kid". Or "oh I hope that the Parker's don't come. Their kids are such monsters".
Wanting people to like my kids is a very earthly reason to discipline them. That should not be my end goal. I want people to like my kids so that they can see Christ. I want people to enjoy my family so we can show the love of God. No one is gonna see that, if our kids are little terrors. It will ruin our witness.
In this world our children will have to learn to obey. No matter what we think of it, they will have to obey their teachers, their boss, the law, and those in authority over them or they will pay the consequences. How much kinder will it be, if they first learn that they need to obey their parents. If they never ever have to obey you, life is going to be hard for them. Much harder than it needs to be. I don't want life to be hard for my children! It's going to be hard enough without adding to it. I've heard Bible teachers say that the most important lesson a toddler needs to learn is to obey their parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
When you tell them to do something, they need to do it. And do it the first time you ask them to (I'm not good at that part). If you start training your child as a toddler it will be so much easier to do as they get older. The longer you wait, the harder it'll be. A ten year old who has never had to obey will be much more difficult to deal with than the two year old was. And a twenty year old who has never been told "no" is going to deal with the consequences for the rest of their life. My brother works at a prison for boys and I'm sure he would swear to the fact that almost all of the kids there were never taught to obey anyone. They got to do whatever they wanted and look where it got them. Eventually life will teach your child the lessons that you don't and it's going to be easier for them if you do it.
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
One of the biggest reasons we need to teach our children to obey us is because it will help them learn to obey God. We need to obey God. To not do that is to sin and there are consequences of sin. I would much rather that my children learn the consequences of disobedience from me than from God.
Hebrews 12:7
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
Wanting people to like my kids is a very earthly reason to discipline them. That should not be my end goal. I want people to like my kids so that they can see Christ. I want people to enjoy my family so we can show the love of God. No one is gonna see that, if our kids are little terrors. It will ruin our witness.
In this world our children will have to learn to obey. No matter what we think of it, they will have to obey their teachers, their boss, the law, and those in authority over them or they will pay the consequences. How much kinder will it be, if they first learn that they need to obey their parents. If they never ever have to obey you, life is going to be hard for them. Much harder than it needs to be. I don't want life to be hard for my children! It's going to be hard enough without adding to it. I've heard Bible teachers say that the most important lesson a toddler needs to learn is to obey their parents.
Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
When you tell them to do something, they need to do it. And do it the first time you ask them to (I'm not good at that part). If you start training your child as a toddler it will be so much easier to do as they get older. The longer you wait, the harder it'll be. A ten year old who has never had to obey will be much more difficult to deal with than the two year old was. And a twenty year old who has never been told "no" is going to deal with the consequences for the rest of their life. My brother works at a prison for boys and I'm sure he would swear to the fact that almost all of the kids there were never taught to obey anyone. They got to do whatever they wanted and look where it got them. Eventually life will teach your child the lessons that you don't and it's going to be easier for them if you do it.
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
One of the biggest reasons we need to teach our children to obey us is because it will help them learn to obey God. We need to obey God. To not do that is to sin and there are consequences of sin. I would much rather that my children learn the consequences of disobedience from me than from God.
Hebrews 12:7
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
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