Kids Need Chores!

I said before that I've been having a rough time with one of my kids lately.  The last time we went through this she was about four.  That was a hard age because mentally she was ready to do things she physically couldn't do yet.  At the time I could tell what was frustrating her, so found things that she was able to do.  She started making her bed, setting the table, and I let her start helping me more in the kitchen.  And she felt better.  After thinking through this current phase of frustrations I decided it was time to give her some new chores to do.  Mentally she is ready to be doing more and I needed to give her the opportunity.

This week I put her in charge of making breakfast, taught her how to start the washing machine, and tried to tighten up the other items she is responsible for.  Letting go of some of these things wasn't easy for me but she needed it and has done a fantastic job.  It's habit to help our kids with certain things - shoes, getting dressed etc.  Every now and then do you look up at realize that you are still giving your four year old a sippy cup?  Helping your five year old get dressed?  Or making your six year old's bed?  Most kids are capable of so much more than their parents give them credit for.  I talked about giving kids chores in my cleaning post last month and after a much more peaceful week here I am again a firm believer!  Your kids can do it!  And they need to!  It's good for them to be responsible for things.  They are learning skills now that future things can build on and it is good for their own confidence and self-esteem to know that they can do it.

I remember being a kid and wanting so badly for my parents to know that I could do it (can't remember the specific "it" thing).  I remember getting so frustrated and saying "I just want to show you I can do it!"  My surprised mom said "well of course I knew you could do that".  She hadn't realized that was something I needed, but I needed to know that she thought I could do it.  Our kids need that too.  They need our encouragement and we should be their biggest supporters.  It is amazing what a boost it is for a child to know that their mom has confidence in them.  If my mom thinks I can do it, then I can do it!  And I still feel that way today.  :)

Have you heard the phrase "idle hands are the devil's workshop"?  That is another good reason for chores.  The Bible warns against idleness.  It's trouble plain and simple and it's just as dangerous for kids to be idle as it is for adults to be idle.

2 Thessalonians 3:6
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

Proverbs 10:4
Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.

Proverbs 6:6
Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!

When kids aren't busy enough they get in trouble.  Everyone I know seems to be feeling this as we are in nearing the end of summer.  If my kids have time to bicker and fight that means they've got too much time on their hands and they get some work to do!

Another reason for chores is that someday my kids will leave home and need to be able to do these things for themselves.  I've heard it said that a seven year old should be able to run a home.  What can your seven year old do?  The average seven year old is capable of doing all the basics it takes to run a home - laundry, basic cooking, taking care of little ones, making beds, some cleaning ...  I think very few seven year olds have had the training where they could do it though.  My kids aren't going to live with me forever (God help us!) and they need to be able to do these things for themselves.  The whole goal of parenting should be training and teaching our kids to go out there and be functional adults.  That means knowing what it takes to run a home, having a good attitude about work, and learning time management skills.  And that starts now.

So.  What do I do?  My kids have a star chart and each day they get a sticker for doing the basics of getting ready for the day.  When they get dressed, make their beds, wash their face, brush their teeth, and practice piano, they get a sticker.  10 stickers gets to go in the prize box.  Then they get allowance for doing two or three chores.  The get one quarter a day Monday thru Friday and Saturday and Sunday they just need to help because they are part of the family.  My five and six year olds can feed the pets, make breakfast and lunch, get the three year old dressed (pick out his clothes and help him a little), vacuum, make my bed (woohoo!), start laundry, and set and clear the table for meals.  And I almost forgot - my six year old was THRILLED when she found a travel sized ironing board I had from college and she promptly started ironing all her clothes with whatever heavy item she could find.  My wonderful mom couldn't take it and bought her an iron.  So my six year old can iron!  I do supervise some of these things (like cooking and ironing) but the better they get the less supervision they need and then easier life is for me.  I haven't been good about making the three year old do chores but need to start.  I think I will start by having him make his bed, help set and clear the table, and pick up outside toys.  Our kids used to always fight about who gets to open the door - car, house, wherever.  I did give that job to our three year old.  He's the only boy and I thought it would be good training - for both him and his sisters.  Someday we want them dating/marrying the kinds of guys that will open the doors for them and we want him to treat his future wife this way.  So he is the only one that ever gets to open the doors and his sisters have to wait.

http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chore_list.htm  There are tons of these lists online but this is one that gives age appropriate chores.  I think kids could probably handle more than what's on here...  Only you know your child well enough to know what they can handle though.  Don't frustrate them by asking them to do things that they really just can't do yet.

http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/chorecharts4-10.htm  There are tons of chore charts out there and I like this site for those as well.  There are lots to choose from.

And here is a Focus on the Family article on why kids need chores and how to help them get started.  I've already said some of these things but it's always nice to get more ideas!
http://www.family.org.sg/default.aspx?go=article&aid=863

It's good for our kids to be proud of themselves and when they accomplish things they will be. Overconfidence can have it's own problems but far more often people lack confidence and have low self-esteem.  This is where the devil gets a foothold and Oh Lord may I never be the cause of this in my children!  I want my kids to be confident adults that God can use.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. 

I would love to hear what chores you have your kids do!  To post something, you do not have to have a blogger account.  Just type in the space where it says "Post a Comment", add your name at the end and hit the blue "Publish" button.