Don't Be a People Pleaser

I haven't been blogging for long but so far really like it.  I love writing and it's something creative I can do around this crazy schedule we have.  It's an odd thing though, blogging.  It's like you're letting someone (or a lotta someones) walk around in your brain and that's kindof a scary thing.  I am usually pretty guarded about letting people into my brain.  I can be sanguine but am a fairly melancholy and phlegmatic in my temperament and that means I'm careful about who I trust.

I started this blog because I felt like God was telling me to.  After I wrote the first few I felt like "ok Lord I'll do it, but I'm not gonna actually tell anyone about it".  And I didn't for almost a month!  I knew I wasn't being fully obedient because the reason He had for me to blog was not just to enjoy writing.  I'm past the not telling people part (so sorry if you're tired of seeing my posts on facebook!) but I still hold my breath as I hit "Publish".  When you use facebook you see instantly what people think from their comments or likes.  Blogs aren't like that though.  I usually have no idea who is even reading it let alone what they think about it.  And that's ok because having tons of people like me is not why I'm supposed to be doing this.

Proverbs 29:25
Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
    but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

We are to be living with a God focus, not to please people.  Pleasing Him is to be my end goal with this.  We are to raise our kids with that God focus too.  I recently heard a speaker talk about how her kids were running around after church and she kept telling them to stop it.  A friend started quizzing her on it - why can't they run?  Are you afraid they will fall?  Do you think they'll hurt someone?  And the questions continued.  Finally she blurted out - I don't want people to think I'm a bad mom!  There it is.  We don't want people to think we're bad moms.  We care about what people think of us.  Too much sometimes.  That is so often behind our parenting, isn't it?  Do you know that when you're raising your kids with that in the back of your brain, they know it.  They know that when you get after them and that's what you're really thinking.  Instead we are to be raising our kids with a God focus.  There could be a very good reason for not letting them run in church, but it needs to not be about what others will think of us as moms.  We need to train and teach our kids to live for God, not for pleasing people.  The speaker I heard said that when we raise people pleasers we are training them for peer pressure.  I hadn't thought about it that and but isn't that true?  I'm sure you can think of lots you don't want your kids doing out of peer pressure.  That thought alone was enough motivation for me to start examining my motives.

My mom was wise in many areas and one was that she wanted her kids to learn their lessons young enough that they wouldn't be paying for them for the rest of their lives.  When you make sinful mistakes at age five they most likely will not affect you forever like those sinful mistakes at age twenty will.  Pray for your kids to get caught when they are sinning - so you can teach and train them before they are off on their own.  Praying for that is a scary thing!  But wouldn't you rather they get caught shoplifting at ten years old than twenty years old where there are legal consequences?

Our kids will embarrass us sometimes but if your goal is to please God and be obedient to Him in your parenting, it won't matter so much what others think.  Our end goal of parenting shouldn't be that of turning out perfectly looking and acting humans.  It should be teaching and training and raising up kids who love God.  People are fickle and sinful by nature.  If our goal in life is to gain approval we will live an unhappy life.  We just can't please everyone!  There's nothing wrong with wanting people to like you but it's so much more important that God is pleased with you.  Being obedient to Him is part of that.  When we're obedient it doesn't mean life will be easy (or boring) but God will equip us for what He asks of us.  He may be asking something of you because He wants you on your knees daily seeking His help with it.

Have you ever noticed that when He asks you to do something, it doesn't work out the way you would have planned it?  Or it doesn't happen with the timing you would have preferred?  It often happens at the last minute or in the midst of chaos so He can get the glory for it.  Because it's not about us.  Every time I've written a blog post I have been interrupted five million times.  Five Million.  I've had to stop and start, deal with poop, kid fights, a ringing phone, and laundry.  I've locked myself in the bathroom in order to finish a thought and still had little people right there knocking on the door.  Every single time, I have had a very busy day with lots on my "to do" list and did not have writing a blog post on it.  Especially that one about sex - good grief!  That came outta nowhere!  I don't know what God is asking of you today.  I know that He's asking some things of me that are not working out according to my plan and I'm just gonna have to trust Him.

When you are doing what He asks you're also going to see some enemy activity.  Be prepared for that!  The enemy knows your weak spots and doesn't fight fair - he'll go straight for those.  Don't let it cause you to stop.  If God's asking something of you, press on friend.  Be obedient to Him.  It doesn't matter what others think.  Pray for wisdom, peace, and protection from the enemy and pursue His plans.  Then give Him the glory when it all comes together.

Another Birthday!

My oldest turns seven today.  That seems impossible but it's true.  Oh this child of mine.  I think it's amazing that your child is exactly who they are from infancy.  This is so true with my oldest.  She was a fussy fussy baby.  Now that I know her better, her babyhood makes so much more sense.  She could not tune out anything and would get so overwhelmed.  And she's still like that today.  That face to the left could have been her at the table trying to do her math yesterday.  Or, if I'm thinking about it, her every day around 4pm when she really needs to eat.  We survived those baby and toddler years though and now she's a big huge second grader.

When I was pregnant with her I was working as an accountant.  My husband also worked at the firm and we got to spend a lot of time together.  We worked a million hours of overtime together, drove to work together, ate lunch together...It was nice.  Made for a big adjustment when I quit working though.  I was used to seeing my husband 24/7 and we worked very well together.  Now I was stuck at home feeling very overwhelmed.

At the end of this pregnancy I got the PUPPP rash.  It was so awful.  It's a horrible itchy rash on the stomach, legs, hands, and feet and the only way to get rid of it is to deliver.  I was eight days late with baby girl and could have gone longer but just couldn't take that rash any longer.  My wonderful doctor took pity and induced me.  I had an epidural and was in labor all day but baby girl got stuck.  I had a c-section at 10pm and that poor baby was MAD.  The doctor opened me up and she was screaming inside!  I got very sick from the anesthesia and was in recovery for a long time so baby girl got to spend a lot of time with her daddy.  

I think those three days around her birth were the hardest of my life!  We had her at 10pm and she stayed awake until morning!  She was mad and hungry.  I was exhausted from being in labor, having surgery, and then staying up all night long.  Since it was our first baby we had lots of visitors. She slept all day that they were there and then was awake all night again.  The day we went home from the hospital I cried with every bump we hit.  My poor body hurt so bad.  We had over ten messages on the answering machine (doesn't that date things!), the phone rang off the hook, and three sets of visitors came by our house.  We finally got to bed late that night (on the couch because I couldn't get in and out of our bed) and then she was awake all night again.  Oh the things you learn from that first baby experience.

She's a special one though.  We survived her babyhood and toddler years and she seems to keep getting easier.  She has always been mentally ahead of her physical abilities and so the older she gets the easier things seem to be.  She has an almost spooky ability to perceive things about people and she's very spiritually mature for her age.  She also has huge ideas.  She's gonna make a fantastic adult someday and if she can put all these wonderful ideas into action will do amazing things.  For right now though, her big ideas can be frustrating.  She doesn't usually ask me before she launches into something and then gets upset when it doesn't work.  Last month she wanted to call all her friends and have them mail her pictures they'd made so she could judge them (we were around some 4-Hers that month).  Once she started making newspapers to put in plastic bags and deliver to all the neighbors.  She tried making a solar cooker out of a cardboard box and had plans to make popcorn and refried beans in it.  And there were more.  Many more ideas.

In an effort to channel that I put her in charge of breakfast.  It is now her job to make herself and siblings breakfast every day.  She has done a fantastic job and loves it.  And it has been a big help to me to have her take this on.  At the homeschool conference this year, one of my favorite finds was a book called "Home Economics for Home Schoolers".  You can buy it on this website  http://www.pearables.com/home_economics.htm  She loves this book so much she sleeps with it sometimes.  It has chapters on learning to use the toaster, peeling vegetables, learning to use the oven, cleaning, organizing, and hospitality.   Finding things to keep her busy is a challenge and this book truly was answered prayer!

This little girl is a really good big sister.  She loves organizing things (closets, people, whatever), she talks nonstop, and needs constant interaction.  She plays the piano, enjoyed drama class and VBS, and could probably run this household if I needed her to.  And do a good job at it.  She loves watching "The Duggars" and is currently writing them a letter about how she loves how they train their children.

When I found this I thought of her.  She really is a special treasure and I'm so thankful God chose me to be her mom.  She's gonna do great things for His kingdom.

I'd like my cake "to go" please

Don't ever do that.  Don't go to a party, rush in and out and ask for your cake to go, unless you are a blood relative or have been through some kinda major event with that person - like a car bombing or giving birth in an elevator.  This post has absolutely nothing to do with the birthday parties we just survived here. Or the guests who came to those parties.   It is about a realization I had of myself last year.  I was not a good guest.  I'm kindof a homebody.  I love to be a hostess and have people in my home but feel a little bit uncomfortable going into someone else's space.  I go into it feeling a little stressed for some reason.  Moving out of your comfort zone is always hard I guess.  Last year, I realized that I was probably not the most fun party guest ever invited.  I went into the environment thinking about myself and my stress, not about the person hostessing or even the kid who the party was for.  Shame on me!  Oh I hate it when I discover something like this.  Maturing can be a painful process but I hope that I'm being teachable.  I often pray that I would have a teachable spirit because if I really do want to grow in areas that I need it.  But anyways, that got me thinking about what a good guest should be doing.  What kinds of things do I appreciate about guests who come into my home?

For starters, RSVP.  It doesn't matter if someone sent the invite on facebook, by phone, mail, or evite  -  you should respond.  If they took the time to invite you, respond!  It's hard to plan if you don't know how many people are coming.  I'm not talking to the people who just completely forget - that happens to everyone.  I mean the habitual non-responders.  If you are in the midst of trying to plan a party and have to add contacting all the non-responders to the "to do" list, it can be frustrating.  Plus when you're the hostess and invite someone, you are putting yourself out there.  Picture a little kid asking someone to be their friend.  That's how it feels!

Greet the other guests and make pleasant conversation.  When I was growing up I had one uncle who always said "hi" to me.  When we got together for a family event he always greeted me.  As a child it made me feel cared for.  This busy adult took the time to say "hi" to me.  My father in-law is also very good at this.  It used to be common etiquette that when you entered a room you said "hello" to everyone in the room.  People don't use etiquette for pretty much anything anymore but some of those traditions  were good ones.  After you greet the other guests, don't just sit your fanny down and wait for cake.  Make conversation.  Is there someone who seems like they feel out of place?  Go and talk to them.  Maybe they don't know anyone else there.  The hostess is busy and may not have the time to introduce them to everyone, so go introduce yourself.  I have a memory of myself not doing a good job of this.  I saw another mom at a party and knew she didn't know anyone else there and I did nothing to make her comfortable.  I was a close friend of the hostess and I should have done that for her as well as for the mom who didn't know anyone.

After you greet and meet the other guests, make pleasant conversation.  We use this phrase a lot in our house.  When our kids are done eating at dinner they don't get to rush off.  They get to stay at the table and make pleasant conversation until the rest of us are done eating.  When you are at a party, don't be offensive.  Don't say/do things to the other guests that will make them uncomfortable.  Sounds like common sense but this happened at our house once and because of it one guest left early.  I was so frustrated.  There may have even been a point to what was said but a party in someone else's home was not the time or place to bring it up.  When people come into my home I want them to feel safe and be comfortable.

Ask what you can do to help.   I especially love it when people say "What can I do to help?" implying they are gonna help whether I tell them what to do or not.  With kid parties it is really nice to have a friend who is willing to take pictures.  If I'm running kid games, getting kids drinks, taking kids potty, keeping kids out of the garden etc,  it's hard to also be the photographer.  It's so nice to have friends offer to help with things like that.  And with cleaning up!  It's wonderful to have people over who help clean up.  Whenever I go to dinner at someone's house I try to help because I know what it feels like to have the guests leave and then turn around and wash dishes for an hour and a half.  No fun!

Offer a seat to the older guests.  Is there someone elderly at the party?  They get first dibs at the chair and the cool spot by the fan.  Are there moms with young children there?  Offer to help them if you can.  Hold their baby so they can eat.  Hold their baby so they can get their other kids food.  Is there someone pregnant at the party?  She gets whatever she wants!!  It doesn't matter if it's irrational!

If you are bringing your own children to a party, keep an eye on them.  Don't meander in, start chatting and forget about the little people you brought.  Make sure they are behaving.  If it's an outside party, keep them outside.  Don't let them trash the house and terrorize the family cat.  Or unwrap presents and turn on the sprinklers.  It's not the hostesses job to take care of your kids.  Encourage your children to help the other children have fun.  It doesn't have to be their own party for them to be helpers.  Some kids have a hard time going into new situations, just like some adults do.  My girls are good at helping and making sure everyone's being included.  I've gotten several compliments on their manners and actions at parties and I'm so thankful!  Teach your children how to be good guests as well.  The culture we live in does not teach these things anymore - it's up to you.

Compliment the hostess.  It's a lot of work to have people over - for big parties or just for dinner.  You don't know how much work it may have taken that poor mom to get it done.  Those sagging streamers and droopy cake, or the professional decorations and Martha Stewart home.  You don't know what all it took to get it accomplished.  You may think "oh she's great at making cakes" to yourself and then sound a little snide about it thinking yours never look that good.  You have NO IDEA how hard that may have been for her.  Compliment her on it!  Does her house look nice?  Say so!  It's hard having people over!  And I'm truly not saying this to make sure the people who come here do and say certain things.  I'm saying it to remind myself to behave a certain way when I am the guest.  Because I know I've failed at these in the past.

Remember when you go into someone else's home that it was an honor to be invited.  If you think of it that way you'll behave differently.  When we have people to our home I take it seriously.  I pray for those coming - that they would feel God's presence in own home.  That they would know they are loved and cared for, that the things we do and say would be pleasing to Him.  When you go into someone else's home remember that that is their sacred space you are going into.

Here are some verses on hospitality.

http://www.openbible.info/topics/hospitality

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Today is my last baby's birthday and she's turning two.  It feels like I blinked and two years went by.  She has been the perfect addition to round out our family.  Her older siblings love her so much and she is tons of fun.  Tons of fun and so so much work.  This child gets into EVERYTHING.  If I can't see her she's doing something she shouldn't be doing.  She's quiet and quick about it too.  She used to love playing in the toilet - praise the Lord we're past that.  She is always climbing on top of the table and she recently discovered there's a little slot in our fireplace where she can stick toys.  I know most baby's of the family are doted on but she really is special to all of us.  She has a sense of humor, is spunky, mischievous and bossy.  She loves peanut butter, ice cream, jumping, singing, Dora and Diego, and coloring.  And she does really good somersaults.

Her pregnancy was very high risk.  At four months we'd had some abnormal test results and so had a high resolution ultrasound done. They found that I had a placenta previa and an accreta.  Both things are risky but together they made for a very high risk pregnancy.  I didn't find out until after we'd had baby girl that 10% of women with this do not survive.  It was a miracle that they found these things before I was further along and went into labor because we'd already had our regular ultrasound and without those abnormal test results wouldn't have had another one.

It is best if the placenta is at the top of the uterus.  A previa means that it is low or close to the cervix.  A complete previa means that the placenta is completely covering the cervex and that's what I had.  Those usually cause bleeding and the patient is put on bed rest until it's safe to deliver.  I already knew I'd have to have a c-section and a complete previa is more dangerous because of the bleeding it can cause during the surgery.  Plus it's in the way of where the doctor would open you up.  Lucky me - I also had an accreta.  A placenta accreta is when the placenta grows attached to the uterus or in my case even grows through.  It has trouble detaching like it should and causes major bleeding.  In serious cases, you have to have a hysterectomy because the surgeon isn't able to detach the placenta from the uterus during delivery.  That is what happened in my case.

We were worried that I might go into labor so were on red alert all summer.  I couldn't travel because I had to be very close to a major hospital just in case.  At five months along I had to switch to a high risk doctor and a larger hospital.  I was on semi-bed rest because I couldn't stand for very long.  This made cooking and taking care of the then four, three, and one year old hard.  My wonderful church family brought us meals and my sweet husband tried so hard to take care of everything else.  He was so stressed his goatee started turning gray!

I had two rounds of steroid shots to help baby girls lungs along and at thirty-six weeks had an amniocentesis done to see if they were developed enough for her to be born.  A gigantic needle going into your stomach is scary!!  The amnio sent me into labor and they delivered me the next day.  They waited till the next morning so my doctor could make sure he had his surgical team in place.  That and it was his birthday so he was going to a concert that night.  :) The surgery was risky enough the

anesthesiologist put me under general anesthesia instead of doing a spinal.  That meant my husband couldn't be in there for the birth. My placenta had grown through to my bladder so they had to repair a hole there as well.  My hospital stay with baby girl was eight days and I needed a blood transfusion.  I had to go home with a catheter for 10 days!!  So awful.  That was the most awful part.  While in the hospital I had to have 30+ blood draws and IV pokes.  This is what happens when you don't have a good IV line for the blood transfusion.

I don't know the exact time baby girl was born but she weighed 5 pounds and 4 ounces.  She was so tiny compared to her huge brother!  Her lungs were fine and she was beautiful.  My parents came to watch the other kids while we were in the hospital.  Because they own their own business and it's busiest in the summer, it took a lot of juggling for them to get here.  This little child may never know the amount of stress involved with her entry into the world.  She was worth every bit of it though.  She is such a precious little girl.

While in the hospital our oldest had her fifth birthday and we had our eleventh anniversary.  We celebrated with dinner from Macaroni Grill and watching the show Eureka.  I should add that I love hospital stays.  I don't care if there are needles in my arm, I love it.  Hands down one of the best things about having a baby.  I get to nap, watch tv, read, snuggle a newborn, and people bring me things.  With every baby I stayed in the hospital for as long as they would let me.  It was the calm before the storm of going home to a houseful of toddlers after just having surgery.  At this hospital I even got to order my food.  From a menu!!

After we came home from the hospital we found out baby girl has a birth defect in one eye called an Iris Coloboma.  This is when the iris doesn't close at the bottom giving it a key hole shape.  In her case the nerves weren't damaged and it shouldn't affect her sight.  That eye is just more sensitive to light.  I know I've said before that I would love to know what God's plans are for my kids and I am very curious about this child.  Through the whole process He had His hand on us and He definitely made sure she got here ok.  That summer of waiting for her reminded me that God is in control.  He gave me an inexplicable sense of peace when I needed that and He used friends and family to provide for our needs.

If you give them water, they will pee

Sometimes you have to be smarter than the little people.  I know it's hard when our brains are tired, but you really can do it.  Outsmart that little stinker.  Yesterday my kids made a disaster of the living room. There were toys EVERYWHERE.  I'm a little bit type-A so having a messy house is the hardest part of having kids for me.  I told them to clean up and they started complaining (which didn't fly).  Then I told them I was counting to twenty and wanted them to clean up as much as possible in that time.  I started counting and wahlah!  Little bodies scurrying to get toys into buckets.  I was so impressed with myself.  If you make things like cleaning into a game you're likely to have better results.  One friend has her sons race to see who can get their pajamas on faster.  Genius!  I have a pokey kid but she's super competitive so making things into a race is the one thing that gets her moving.  Another friend has her son say "bye" to the toys when they leave the store.  Helps prevent a leaving fit.  My husband is a pro at distracting our kids with questions.  They could be in mid-fit and he calmly asks them about something totally unrelated and they immediately switch gears and go into great detail to answer him.  It's lucky for us that our biggest fit thrower is easily distractable.

My two year old is a stinker at meal times.  I finally figured out that she doesn't want to get her fingers dirty.  She'll let me feed her or she'll do it if she's got certain silverware but she'll throw the mother of all fits to prevent getting her little fingers dirty.  It shouldn't have taken me as long as it did to realize what her deal was.  Sometimes we get so busy "doing" and forget to think.  At least I do.  But, I thought through it and now I know.  Now I'm usually prepared to out think her at meal times.  I've got silverware.  I ask her questions in mid-fit, or I break into song really loudly.  I can be louder than she can.  If my kids see that their fit makes me sing, (and sing loudly) that stops them too.

I used to always let my kids sleep with water.  It took forever for one of them to stay dry at night and hmmm.... ya think the two things were related?  If you give them water, they will pee.  (That also works for potty training.  If you want them to pee - give them tons to drink.)  So, the point of this little blog post is to think.  You can do it - go outsmart those little stinkers!  And then share it with your mom friends so they can do it too!

Sexy, Nudy, Sex, Sex

**This post has been edited from its original version.

Got your attention?  Our husbands need sex.  I mean NEEED sex.  In a way that our female brains just don't comprehend.  Yes I realize that you are busy.  You are tired.  Maybe exhausted.  But it's important to him.  If you know he likes chocolate cake, do you make it for him?  Sure.  If you know that he needs a lunch tomorrow, do you make it for him?  Of course you do!  Well he needs sex more. More than a clean house, more than freedom to go hunting or golfing, more than dinner tonight.  (and it would probably be faster than all that time in the kitchen)  And you know what else?  You agreed to that when you got married.  When you get married, two become one and your body is not your own anymore.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

There is an ENTIRE book of the Bible about sex.  A whole book!!  My Bible knowledge may be escaping me at the moment but I don't remember any other books of the Bible as solely devoted to a single subject as the Song of Solomon.   I think that probably means it's important.  Song of Solomon is racy - with words like "breast" and everything.  In Bible times you had to be a certain age to even read it.  If something is important to God, the enemy knows it and will try to thwart it at all costs.  When I started this post, all hell broke loose around here.  Seriously.  I had kids crying, pouring water in each others lunch, manhandling the cat, throwing mud at each other, more crying...  I don't think it was a coincidence.  I think that this is something I was supposed to post about and the enemy was trying his best to stop it.  Having a healthy marriage is important to God.  And I'm pretty sure that involves sex.  Here are two good books on the topic:  

 

If you're not in the mood, try getting in the mood.  That means get away from your kids.  Date your spouse.  I've polled friends lately and am shocked and how few of them go on dates with their husbands.  I want out of this house alone with my hubby any chance I can get!!  It doesn't have to be expensive - could be Taco Bell for all I care.   There are millions of things you could do for a date that don't cost a lot. Can't afford child care?   Try trading babysitting with friends.  I have several friends that have date nights at home.  Feed the kids in another room with a movie while you dine together alone.  Or wait till they are in bed and really go nuts.  Eat ice cream by yourselves!  (You thought I was going to say something else didn't you...go do that too!)

Are you going through a dry spell?  Get out of your yoga pants.  Put on make up.  Do your hair.  Buy some new undies.  And get out of your yoga pants!  Send him a racy text or (gasp) picture.  (Make double double sure you're sending it to him and not the piano teacher)  Too tired at night?  Do it in the morning!  Up at night going pee?  Get him on the way back to bed!  I doubt he'll mind the interruption in sleep.  Feeling self conscious about your chubby post-baby body?  I doubt he cares.  I'm sure he'd prefer chubby sex to no sex.  Is he being a jerk?  Sex may help that too.  Maybe if you are putting his needs above your own he will start to do the same.  Just really don't feel like it?  So what.  When you are married, your husbands interests need to become important to you and I guarantee he's interested in sex.  Whatever it takes, make it a priority.  Put it on the calendar if you have to.  Add it to your "to do" list.  Send yourself a reminder, shoot for a goal number of times a week, WHATEVER it takes to help you get it done, do it!

Your husband would die for you.  Have you ever put much thought in that?  This man that you married would truly die for you if he had to.  God has called you to love and respect him, whether he deserves it or not, and loving him in marriage involves sex. Husband need sex and need to feel pursued by us.  Know what else?  He can't read your mind.  I'll just say that again.  HE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND.  It might be obvious to you that the trash is overflowing and needs to be taken out.  If it's not obvious to him, ASK him.  Don't just assume he's being lazy by not doing it.  It's probably not on his radar.  All husband radars are different.  If it would free you up to have sex if he took out the trash or helped more with the kids, say so.  I bet he'd do both!  He's not a mind reader though.  The things he did to woo you when you were dating are probably outdated.  Tired mamas need different things.  Help the guy out and just say what you need.

Pray about it.  Our Heavenly Father cares about us.  He cares about our marriages and the things we're struggling with.  He knows anyways, so talk to Him.  Pray about it and He'll help.  Here are thirty verses on marital sex:   http://www.openbible.info/topics/marital_sex

Wear your diamonds!

Have you ever looked up and realized that it's been over a week since your kids had a bath?  You have no idea when anyone's teeth got brushed last, you don't remember the last time you actually cooked (didn't just make quesadillas or frozen waffles), and you've been in your yoga pants for who knows how long?  Sometimes being a mom is about just surviving.  I think my kids are getting to the age where things are getting easier but there will still be seasons to just get through.  Like this month.  Oh my word this month!  Three of our kids have birthdays this month.  We started school, my husband and I celebrate our thirteenth anniversary, our cat is getting spayed, I've had three dentist appointments, we start Awana (I'm the Cubbies director this year) and between my husband and I we've had at least five meetings.  We've also had people over for dinner twice and had play dates with friends.  Two of my kids are in gymnastics and the other has piano.  Most of those things were very fun so I'm glad for them but sometimes life is about surviving it.

And sometimes, while we're just surviving it we should put on our diamonds.  It's easy to get so busy "doing" and forget to do fun things like that.  Because I'm a stay-at-home mom, most of my "doing" is at home. I'm not being lazy if I wear yoga pants day after day - it kinda makes more sense when I'm cleaning my house or weeding the garden.  But sometimes it feels good to put on your diamonds.  Or your cute boots.  I love boots.  I own many pairs - black, brown, tall, taller, short, spiky heals, no heals - but I rarely get to wear them.  Even though we are crazy busy I am usually at home and I'm not being lazy in my dress, I'm just being practical.  It wouldn't make sense to wear some clothes when muddy kids could ruin them.

It's nice to have to things to look forward to while you're surviving a phase.  It might be your diamonds or boots, or it might be ice cream or a margarita after the kids in bed.  What do you enjoy doing?  Do you even remember?  Being able to look forward to reading, running, scrapbooking, or some other hobby might keep you sane.  Maybe it's your favorite show with your husband or maybe even canoodling!!  (There could be a WHOLE other post on canoodling)  When you're frustrated or feeling blue, try to give yourself something to look forward to.  Go canoodle.  Put on your diamonds.  Life is hard but it might be more fun that way.  :)