August gives me anxiety

August gives me anxiety.  Every year.  When we were kids, summer was a time of long empty days to do whatever, but life is just different now.  For one thing it's shorter than when we were kids by about three weeks.  That's a lot!  And now summer is jam packed from beginning to end.  By the time we get to August we're all tired.  Most parents are looking forward to the kids going back to school because they can rest up a little bit, and recover from their summer.  When you're a homeschool parent though, you don't get that.  August is a time to start the regular routine all over again.

August at our house has three kids with birthdays.  Some people pop out babies on Friday and are at church on Sunday but I was not one of those people.  I had to have c-sections and the surgery, combined with adding a new person to our family was a huge stressful adjustment for me each time.  While our kids birthdays are special events, they also bring back stressful memories.  Worries about my littles at home while I was gone having the baby, lots of needle pokes, complications after the delivery, no sleep...I feel like I relive it all in August.

When you add that stress to the end of a jam packed summer, planning meetings for fall commitments, the pressure of making three kids birthdays special, and the crazy schedule ahead - boom, ANXIETY!  I was beginning to wonder what on earth was wrong with me and then wrote out all that we have going on this fall.  It was good reminder that my plate is full.  It also helped me to give myself emotional permission to say "no" to some things.

I try to always pray about things before we add them to our calendar, and since we've felt the go ahead for all the things we're currently committed to, remembering that has given me peace.  He wouldn't ask me to do something and then not help me do it.  While it's a great thing to trim the calendar and not take on anything else, I was also reminded that this is the season I'm in.  My kids are involved in sports and activities and I want that.  I want them learning new skills, making friends at practices, and being a light for Him in our community. All that adds to my load but it's not forever.  It's just a season. Just because I feel busy or stretched thin does not mean I'm not supposed to do it.  God is in the business of stretching us.  It's how we learn and grow.  And if He asks me to do it - teach Sunday School, sign my kids up for swim team, or help with Awana - He will help me manage it all.

The first step to overcoming my August anxiety was to recognize I had it.  And it was ok that I felt this way.  Next was to quit being overwhelmed by the entire fall season and take things one day at a time.  Not everything needs done today or figured out right this second.  What do I need to do today?  As I began to break down what needed done, God gave me a renewed sense of purpose for our year.  During our first week of school, I was concerned about what we weren't doing well, but God let me see how well my kids know their Bible.  If I'm faithful to be teaching them about Him, He'll be faithful to fill in the gaps in the other areas.

This weekend we had a long day of birthday parties for our three kids with August birthdays.  It was a nice day for me because I thoroughly enjoyed each one of the little people there.  I'm thankful for these friends and that I get to be one of the praying adults in their lives.  This was also the mental encouragement I needed to look forward to the ministries we're involved in this year.  All involve children and God has put me in these kids lives.  What a blessing to be used by Him in that way.

Finding and writing out verses were also helpful.  Here are a few of the ones I've used the most.

Psalm 94:19
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Psalm 3:3
But you, oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory and the one who lifts my head.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.

Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he with make your paths straight.  Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

Exodus 14:14
The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still.

Psalm 119:165
Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.