The perfect holidays don't exist

I had a post this summer about how the perfect Sunday doesn't really exist.  The kind of Sunday where a happy and well groomed little family trots into church after a pleasant morning together.  I have determined that perfect holidays don't exist either.

When you see pictures on facebook of a happy family at Zoolights or cute kids making cookies, that is just a little snapshot of that family's day.  Those nice pictures do hold some good memories.  But they don't include the fighting kids, the crabby husband (not that I've ever had one of those), the fighting kids (did I say that already?), or the sheer exhaustion that comes with the holidays.  When you have kids, no one tells you that they will be sick for the first two years of their life - and part of that will include ALL of December.  When you see those perfectly "put together" looking families who are walking Candy Cane Lane or sending out beautiful Christmas cards, know that they are having rough days too.  You are not alone.

We've been having a rough couple of weeks here.  I mean ROUGH!!  Five of us are sick or on medication, I think I've cried every day this week, my kids are fighting like crazy and the drama has been ridiculous.  The other day one of my kids said  "Mom are you tired?  You only act this way when you're tired".  How very observant of her.  Another of my kids said to me "Fine but you don't have to be a big meanie about it."  And she was totally right.  I was being a big meanie about something.  Uugghh.

I started paying attention and realized that almost all of my friends are having rough weeks as well.  Those friends that I'd been jealous of because of their super cute graham cracker nativity scene or their kids fun Christmas program were just barely hanging in there too.  It takes thinking of others and not just your own junk to realize stuff like that.  And if you're out there just barely hanging on, know that you're not alone.  Mixed in with that stress you might have some very nice memories from this Christmas season, but know that the perfect holidays don't exist for anyone.

I wish I had wonderful advice to give young moms on how to survive the holidays.  I would like it if someone gave me some!  There's not much you can do about getting sick, but there are some things you can do to make things less stressful.  And even though we've had a rough couple of weeks, these things I'm listing have really helped.

The extent of our crafting this year

This year we have worked really hard at cutting back on the cost of Christmas and I think that's helped ease the stress.  We've also cut back on the number of extra things we usually do and our kids haven't even noticed.  All that scurrying around to get to fun places and they are just as happy at home making Santa faces with paper plates.

This year we've worked harder at eating healthy despite all the goodies around and I think it's helped our stress level.  Instead of making the dozens and dozens of cookies that I usually make (and then eat), I've made some healthier treats like cinnamon sugared almonds.  My fitness fanatic husband is on a roll this year and has not missed a work out yet.  Hard for me to sit around eating cookies when he's out there working hard on his health.

Last year I remember eating out a lot in December because we were just so busy.  This year I planned ahead and made some freezer meals to use this month.  It's been so nice to be able to pull out a meal for the crock pot instead of getting fast food or pizza.  Eat a decent breakfast.  If you skip breakfast thinking you're too busy, it's so much easier to eat junk later.

This year we've gotten more sleep.  Instead of rewatching a Christmas movie we've already seen 27 times, we've been going to bed earlier.  I've determined we have too many Christmas movies to get them all watched in December, so next year we'll start in November.  Or will maybe just decide we don't have to watch them all every year.

This year I had wanted to spend more time doing Bible-y Advent type things and we haven't gotten much done there.  I bought "The Truth is in the Tinsel" last year (plan for making Christmas ornaments to go along with scriptures about Christmas) and we just haven't gotten to it.  I did find a reading plan to use with the Jesus Storybook Bible for the month of December.  If I don't get anything else done this season, I think that one was worth it as I really like that Bible. (Do you have it for your kids?  It's so good.)  Every story points to Jesus and reading through it quickly like this is giving such a good overview to the kids and good reminders to me.

While you are feeling the holiday stress know that you're not alone.  Women everywhere are right there with you.  You may have to let go of some things this year.  You may have to compromise with your spouse or give up doing something you had really wanted to do.  That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy parts of this Christmas season.  Look for parts to enjoy.  Is there something from your childhood Christmas's that you loved or have happy memories of?  Try to fit that in somewhere.  Is there something you really just want to do this season?  Push through and do it - even if the kids fight through the whole thing.  Just keep your expectations low and know that you can't do everything.

Tomorrow is a new day and His mercies are new every morning.  (As a mom and wife yours should be too.)  God has a plan.  For you.  Even when life on earth is harried and hectic and stressful, God has a plan that is so much bigger than all of this and His ways are not our ways.  I think that's my biggest "take away" from the Christmas story.  God doesn't do things like we would do them.  When you're feeling stressed and mad, pray about it.  God answers prayers in ways you would never think of.