I think one of the most frustrating things I hear is "Your kids grow so fast, enjoy every minute of it." or "Enjoy your kids now because before you know it they'll be gone." I do NOT need to enjoy every single second of this. I love my kids and enjoy them very much most of the time but if I need a break or am tired of being around them, I'm not a bad mom. I'm normal.
I can see my kids changing before my eyes. Sometimes they look bigger in the morning than when they went to bed the night before. I lift them to my lap, hold and hug them, and feel how they have grown. I teach them daily and can see how fast the time is going. I know that I have about three more Halloween's with my oldest, maybe one or two more years of Santa Clause and the tooth fairy, and then these little kid years will be over. I really don't need to be reminded by random people to pay attention or I might miss something. Or told by people in passing that I need to enjoy all of it. Not all of parenting is fun!
As moms we feel guilty and second guess ourselves about so many things. Should we nurse exclusively or is formula ok? Should our babies be allowed to sleep with us or not? Is giving five shots and seven vaccines at once really ok?? What age should we start potty training? How much tv is too much? Will our kids have problems if they didn't crawl? Are we reading to them enough? And the list goes on. And for some of us, it goes on, and on, and on!!
I know that most of the people who say those things mean well. That doesn't mean it's not annoying though. I hope that when I'm an older person I can say more helpful and encouraging things to the young moms I see. Saying things like "you're doing a good job" or "how can I pray for you?" would be so much more helpful. Encouraging them that this phase will end, they don't need to worry so much, or to just do the best they can would be more helpful. Blessing them with dinner or offering to babysit would be more helpful.
God chose you to be the mom for your children and you can do this. If you're struggling in an area with one of your kids - ask for help and don't feel guilty about it. There is nothing new under the sun and I'm positive that someone else before you has also had that struggle. Pray about it! Ask God to bring someone into your life who can teach and encourage you. And then be teachable. If you're on the other end and are that older woman, pray about God sending a younger woman into your life. Someone who might need some encouragement. Then think twice before you give advice. Do your words sound judgmental? Does that person want your advice?
If you need a break from your kids don't feel guilty about it. Everyone does. If you don't love it that your child just spilled water, that's ok. If you don't feel like reading twenty-seven bedtime stories, you're not a bad mom. If your bathtub is dirty, you didn't sew the Halloween costumes yourself, or your kids watched four hours of TV today, it's not the end of the world.
Some of us are worriers by nature. If you struggle with that, try praying that God would show you what you need to be concerned about and then let the rest go.
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