Have you noticed that sometimes when you use your oven, it smells like the last thing you baked? This happens to me a lot. I start to bake muffins but the house now smells like pizza. Or I put in the broccoli and out wafts the scent of cake. It's so confusing to my kids to think they're getting cookies and really it's garlic bread. Acch!
How do you keep that from happening? My first guess would be to clean your oven. Even if the nothing dripped or spilled during baking I bet if you wipe out your oven after uses it would help.
We end up "smelling" like the people in our "oven" (our vicinity). The people we spend time with affect us and that's just how it is. It could be a good thing but sometimes it's not. Who do you spend the most time with? Do they bring out the best in you? We can be trying so hard to bake a beautiful cake and our house may end up smelling like broccoli. Sometimes we can't help having stinky people in life. We can wipe out our metaphorical oven though. Renew your mind with the holy spirit. Ask Him for help. To renew your mind means to spend time with Him so that your thinking realigns with His.
Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Here is a blog post by John MacArthur on this topic. http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/the-renewed-mind-and-how-to-have-it
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
The grass is greener...
A little while ago I was with some homeschool moms who were talking about curriculum. Curriculum is SO overwhelming. Especially in the beginning but even if you've already been doing it for a few years. There's always the thought that some other program might be better. I think the biggest fear we homeschool moms have is that at some point, our kids will enter public school (even if it's not till college) and they won't know enough. We're afraid that our child will be behind and it's all our fault. And if we could just find that perfect spelling program we'd be fine. If our child could use a math curriculum with dvd's instead of a workbook they'd learn better. Or if they could start a computer based Spanish program they'd be all set. There's nothing wrong with those things and if that's where God has led you, great! Sometimes we (meaning me) need to remember though that what we're doing is good enough. We just need to do it. I heard a wise mama say "That spelling program sounds wonderful and may even work better for us, but I already have something to use and it's working." It's good enough. Such a good reminder!
When I was looking for that quote above I came across this one. I like it so much better. I've been so distracted by different devotionals and inspirational books lately. I had a plan for my year and it was working great until I saw a book that I thought might work better. I tried it, didn't like it, had trouble getting back on track with the original. Heard of something else, tried it. Liked it ok but couldn't remember to use the App. And so on. I should have stuck with what I was doing to begin with. It worked fine. The grass would have been greener if I'd watered it. If I had just done it and quit trying other things I'd have been better off and would've saved some money.
Here are some verses that go along with this.
Proverbs 12:11 He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.
Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
When I was looking for that quote above I came across this one. I like it so much better. I've been so distracted by different devotionals and inspirational books lately. I had a plan for my year and it was working great until I saw a book that I thought might work better. I tried it, didn't like it, had trouble getting back on track with the original. Heard of something else, tried it. Liked it ok but couldn't remember to use the App. And so on. I should have stuck with what I was doing to begin with. It worked fine. The grass would have been greener if I'd watered it. If I had just done it and quit trying other things I'd have been better off and would've saved some money. Here are some verses that go along with this.
Proverbs 12:11 He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment.
Proverbs 14:23 All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Reflections of a swim mom
We have just finished a season of swim team and I can officially say that I'm a swim mom. I've been a soccer mom, a baseball mom, and a piano mom, but this was my first experience with the sport of swimming. I took swimming lessons as a child so know the basics but the sport of swimming is a whooole other thing. I learned so much! I learned about swimming but there were also some mom lessons in there for me too.
To start with, I was reminded I need to pray about what I sign my kids up for. There are tons of activities out there and it doesn't take long to fill up your calendar. When you have four kids it happens before you know it! Most moms I know are on overload. We are all so overwhelmed by kid activities it wears on us yet at the same time we feel guilty that our little one can't do ballet or jealous that so-and-so gets to take horseback riding lessons. And we just keep on signing them up for stuff.
It's hard to remember that God has a plan for each of our families, but He does. If you pray and have a peace you're following God's plan for your family then the activities you're involved in are more than just time fillers. They're a training ground for whatever God has in store for your little ones. I've mentioned before that my brother was in 4-H and because of that was able to start the first ever 4-H club in a youth prison. Isn't that an amazing thing? I was not in 4-H. My mom didn't have the same leading that I needed to be in it. Praise the Lord she was praying for my brother and I. If she hadn't been, and decided without praying that it was just too much work, or she didn't feel like doing it, my brother would not have the background needed to run this club he started.
There's always something to complain about. Always. That doesn't mean we should though. When you complain it affects the atmosphere around you. At the start of our swim season I was a little disappointed. For the amount of money it cost, I had hoped for more instruction. This year the coaches were short handed, there were more girls on the team, plus one had special needs. There just weren't enough coaches to give individual instruction. The moms I sat near at practice also had some frustrations and before long it seemed every practice was a complaining session. At first I was an active participant and would come home all worked up and upset. My crabby attitude affected my home and the way I communicated with others. I began to pray about it and at one swim meet God showed me how much our coach was juggling. A high school student, with 25 girls on her team, had to plan out what events each child would swim, keep track of kids and get them to their events, swim in her own events, and deal with crabby parents. All in the midst of hundreds and hundreds of people. Seeing what all she was doing made me feel bad that I'd been crabby and thankful that she was giving her time to do this. When I approached her with an attitude of thankfulness it changed things. She was responsive to questions I had and I think her coaching got better.
It's a blessing to find things your kids are good at. Every child needs to know they are good at something and part of our "mom job" is to find those things for our kids. My mother was so great about doing this. If it even looked like I had an interest, she pushed me in that direction, bought me books about it, and found a class where I could learn more. As an adult looking back I'm so much more appreciative. I know how much work it was to drive me to things and find those resources.
While it's a blessing to find things your kids are good at, it's also a blessing when it's something that you don't hate doing. I put off having this daughter do swim team because even though I knew she'd love it, I thought I would hate it. Shame on me. I did not pray about that decision and wish I would have because I didn't hate it. I loved it! Thank you Jesus!
While it's easier if they do, your kids don't have to do the same activities. When I started homeschooling one of my fears was that my kids would get so tired of each other they wouldn't have good relationships. God put a wise mama in my path who said it's good for kids to each have their own thing to do. She said don't just make them play baseball because "our family plays baseball". My oldest two are very close in age. The younger works really hard to keep up with the older and for the most part she does such a great job it's hard to remember there's even an age difference. There is though, and at times it wears on her to keep up. Especially since the older is very competitive. Because of that I felt like God put it on my heart that this child do swim team. She needed her own "thing". My older is a good swimmer too and she would probably enjoy this but it's not where her heart is and I am not going to ever have her do it. To preserve the relationship these sisters have, they each need their own activities where they're not competing with one another.
At the same time, when your children are in different activities it still does affect your other kids. Everyone gets to go to swim meets. Everyone is sitting at tball games or going to piano recitals. Think how much each of your children is learning about life from all of these activities. And even if they aren't a participant God can still be using their gifts. My oldest came to meets with a bag packed of things to do. Before long she was keeping all the younger kids around her busy. She was putting on swim caps and sunblock, taking kids to the bathroom or the snack bar and God was using her. She made those long meets easier on the families she was helping. She even taught some little girls how to sew!
Pray about what you sign your kids up for because the things God puts on your heart will be more meaningful for your family. Organized sports are often unorganized, as are most kid activities. There's always something we could complain about and even if we have good reasons for being frustrated, not every frustration needs to be vented. You are a light for Him everywhere you go and how you deal with things affects the people around you. Instead of picking the activities you don't mind doing, work at finding the things your kids are good at. Remember that even if all the kids in your family aren't signed up for something, it still affects everyone. There is something everyone can learn from each experience.
To start with, I was reminded I need to pray about what I sign my kids up for. There are tons of activities out there and it doesn't take long to fill up your calendar. When you have four kids it happens before you know it! Most moms I know are on overload. We are all so overwhelmed by kid activities it wears on us yet at the same time we feel guilty that our little one can't do ballet or jealous that so-and-so gets to take horseback riding lessons. And we just keep on signing them up for stuff.
It's hard to remember that God has a plan for each of our families, but He does. If you pray and have a peace you're following God's plan for your family then the activities you're involved in are more than just time fillers. They're a training ground for whatever God has in store for your little ones. I've mentioned before that my brother was in 4-H and because of that was able to start the first ever 4-H club in a youth prison. Isn't that an amazing thing? I was not in 4-H. My mom didn't have the same leading that I needed to be in it. Praise the Lord she was praying for my brother and I. If she hadn't been, and decided without praying that it was just too much work, or she didn't feel like doing it, my brother would not have the background needed to run this club he started.
There's always something to complain about. Always. That doesn't mean we should though. When you complain it affects the atmosphere around you. At the start of our swim season I was a little disappointed. For the amount of money it cost, I had hoped for more instruction. This year the coaches were short handed, there were more girls on the team, plus one had special needs. There just weren't enough coaches to give individual instruction. The moms I sat near at practice also had some frustrations and before long it seemed every practice was a complaining session. At first I was an active participant and would come home all worked up and upset. My crabby attitude affected my home and the way I communicated with others. I began to pray about it and at one swim meet God showed me how much our coach was juggling. A high school student, with 25 girls on her team, had to plan out what events each child would swim, keep track of kids and get them to their events, swim in her own events, and deal with crabby parents. All in the midst of hundreds and hundreds of people. Seeing what all she was doing made me feel bad that I'd been crabby and thankful that she was giving her time to do this. When I approached her with an attitude of thankfulness it changed things. She was responsive to questions I had and I think her coaching got better.
It's a blessing to find things your kids are good at. Every child needs to know they are good at something and part of our "mom job" is to find those things for our kids. My mother was so great about doing this. If it even looked like I had an interest, she pushed me in that direction, bought me books about it, and found a class where I could learn more. As an adult looking back I'm so much more appreciative. I know how much work it was to drive me to things and find those resources.
While it's a blessing to find things your kids are good at, it's also a blessing when it's something that you don't hate doing. I put off having this daughter do swim team because even though I knew she'd love it, I thought I would hate it. Shame on me. I did not pray about that decision and wish I would have because I didn't hate it. I loved it! Thank you Jesus!
While it's easier if they do, your kids don't have to do the same activities. When I started homeschooling one of my fears was that my kids would get so tired of each other they wouldn't have good relationships. God put a wise mama in my path who said it's good for kids to each have their own thing to do. She said don't just make them play baseball because "our family plays baseball". My oldest two are very close in age. The younger works really hard to keep up with the older and for the most part she does such a great job it's hard to remember there's even an age difference. There is though, and at times it wears on her to keep up. Especially since the older is very competitive. Because of that I felt like God put it on my heart that this child do swim team. She needed her own "thing". My older is a good swimmer too and she would probably enjoy this but it's not where her heart is and I am not going to ever have her do it. To preserve the relationship these sisters have, they each need their own activities where they're not competing with one another.
At the same time, when your children are in different activities it still does affect your other kids. Everyone gets to go to swim meets. Everyone is sitting at tball games or going to piano recitals. Think how much each of your children is learning about life from all of these activities. And even if they aren't a participant God can still be using their gifts. My oldest came to meets with a bag packed of things to do. Before long she was keeping all the younger kids around her busy. She was putting on swim caps and sunblock, taking kids to the bathroom or the snack bar and God was using her. She made those long meets easier on the families she was helping. She even taught some little girls how to sew!
Pray about what you sign your kids up for because the things God puts on your heart will be more meaningful for your family. Organized sports are often unorganized, as are most kid activities. There's always something we could complain about and even if we have good reasons for being frustrated, not every frustration needs to be vented. You are a light for Him everywhere you go and how you deal with things affects the people around you. Instead of picking the activities you don't mind doing, work at finding the things your kids are good at. Remember that even if all the kids in your family aren't signed up for something, it still affects everyone. There is something everyone can learn from each experience.
Monday, June 22, 2015
The Battle Within
I love taking personality tests and always find that I have a pretty even mix of introvert and extrovert qualities. Sometimes it feels like the introvert and extrovert in me are doing battle. Who's going to win today?
Some days in the grocery store I feel like ducking behind the plants and rushing through the self checkout. Other times I get teary with the checker as we catch up.
Both introverts and extroverts have really neat qualities that God can use. I tend to forget the neat qualities of introverts though. I feel guilty about the things that stress this 1/2 introvert out, and I forget to about the ways God can use that part of me. I found this post and thought it was such a good read. (I haven't looked around on the site and can't vouch for anything else there, but did like this post.)
http://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/introvert-no-apology-required-11626582.html
So who am I going to be today? I hope whoever God is asking me to be.
Some days in the grocery store I feel like ducking behind the plants and rushing through the self checkout. Other times I get teary with the checker as we catch up.
Both introverts and extroverts have really neat qualities that God can use. I tend to forget the neat qualities of introverts though. I feel guilty about the things that stress this 1/2 introvert out, and I forget to about the ways God can use that part of me. I found this post and thought it was such a good read. (I haven't looked around on the site and can't vouch for anything else there, but did like this post.)
http://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/introvert-no-apology-required-11626582.html
So who am I going to be today? I hope whoever God is asking me to be.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
I love my food pantry
Do you ever find yourself hiding in the food pantry eating chocolate,
wondering how the day got so out of hand?
Praise the Lord for food pantries.
Praise the Lord for bathroom doors that lock, and garages to sneak out
to. Sometimes you just need a
minute. Or five.
Sometimes it would've been wise if I had taken that minute instead of
responding the way I did. It would have
been a good idea to get by myself for a few minutes, before I punished instead of disciplined, before I yelled, and before the day got so out of hand.
I pray through the day as I think of things, but only read my Bible or devotional early in the morning or right before
bed. Maybe when I need a minute, I should go read something uplifting or edifying, instead of
eating chocolate in the food pantry. I feel really guilty sitting down to read in the middle of the day, so I will have to get past that. I think it would help me! If
you find your day spinning out of control, try it. Take a few minutes to go read a Psalm or a
chapter of your devotional. Read some past days of “Jesus Calling” or a post from your favorite uplifting blog. I love the blogs by Lisa Tuerkherst, John Piper, and Kay Arther.
Do you have this? I just got it and have started using this for my mid-day
"refresher". I also have
"Devotions for the Homeschool Mom" and love it for the gentle
reminders and encouragement it gives. I also just got a smart phone and there are so many apps available! Grace to You, Focus on the Family, She Reads Truth, and YouVersion, are just a few!
Soccer!
It's soccer season. We have three kids in soccer this year and have practice and games four days a week. I'm exhausted and I'm not even doing any of it! My husband is the coach for one team and the assistant coach for the other team so he's doing all the running around. Praise the Lord for wonderful dads!
Last year my daughter was in a younger age level and her field was next to the one where my girls are currently playing all their games. I remember thinking "boy they yell at the kids SO much over there..." But now I'm on the sidelines of that bigger field and one of those parents yelling. I can't believe how much more stressful these games are. "Get the ball!" "Back her up!" "RUN!!!" This year feels so much more serious! No chasing butterflies, no dinking around. Serious soccer. (Which is truly silly because half these little girls can't tie their own shoes.)
Part of all the yelling is that the field is just so much bigger. In order for the kids to hear us, we have to yell. Last weekend one of the girls dads was yelling at her to do something and it happened to be the exact opposite of what the coach was yelling at her to do. The coach was across the (huge) field from the dad and so the dad didn't hear what he was saying. That poor little girl was so confused! It made me think of how as Christians we have to be careful of who we listen to.
During the game, the little girl needed to do what her coach said, not what her dad said. The coach is the one who is with the team several practices a week. He has a plan and can see the big picture - what positions they'll each play, who is good at which ones, and who needs practice in certain areas. God is like that too. In the busy-ness of life it's so easy to forget that there even is a big picture! But there is. What voice are you listening to? And if you're a parent, is your voice from the sideline confusing or confirming what God is telling your child?
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Time to get back on track
I hate it when I go to bed at night and in thinking back through the day realize I didn't actually talk to any of my kids today. We home school. That means we are home together ALL day. And yet there are days when I get to the end of it and don't remember if I ever actually looked any of them in the eye. I don't remember actually listening to them let alone giving anyone a hug. I remember being on a mission to do important grown up things but not much else. Those kind of days give me a knot in the stomach and I hate that feeling. My kids are growing so fast and I just wasted part of that time with them.
There are a lot of mom blogs that currently focus on this topic. Many of them feel unbalanced to me though. They talk about the need to let go of distractions and focus on our kids and while we do need to do that, we also have things to get done. I don't think it's good for kids to be the sole focus of life. So how do we do both??
Every mom finds her own balance in this area. I think it probably needs to start with having margin in your life. Extra time. Not having every single second filled up with stuff. When I'm too busy my kids are the ones who feel it. And by too busy, that can mean too busy doing kid things too. I was recently feeling guilty that my kids can't be in certain activity. When I actually thought through all the things that they are involved in though - church, Awana, karate, basketball (starts soon), piano, our home school group - I realized I was being silly and they are fine.
When I'm unorganized in my home management my kids feel it. Running a home is a big job and not one I can put on the back burner. If I don't menu plan, my grocery shopping is off, and we end up eating grilled cheese or pizza. Not that those are bad things but seriously I think one week this month we ate pizza four times. Four! And once I just skipped dinner making and made cookies instead. This is December so that's my excuse, but it really is time to get back on track around here.
If I don't follow a routine for housework I feel inner stress. Some mamas are wonderful at internalizing stress and putting on a smile for the family. I am not one of those. Very few things are internalized and most is right out there in the open. As I mature I think I'm getting better though. I'm envious of my husband because he's great at this. He could have a really really bad day at work but come home and be completely pleasant to be around. Maybe someday that will be me. Anyways, back to the housework. With a family of six there is a lot of it. I have a wonderful little planner on the front of my fridge with housework broken up into the days of the week. I think it's been a year since I've used it though! It's time to get back on track around here.
Give yourself emotional permission to have time to yourself. My husband is wonderful at encouraging me in this. "You do not have to entertain them every single second" he says. And he's right. I feel guilty if I don't spend enough time with them but in actuality I did just spend an entire day with them. It's ok if not all of it was spent making cookies and creating art together. They do not get to neeeeed me every second and sometimes they can wait. Sometimes they can figure it out for themselves. And sometimes they can go ask their big sister (aren't they lucky they have 2?!). My kids know that they do not get to yell for me, they can come and find me. If they do yell for me I almost never answer them. I realized that when I don't answer right away, they figure it out for themselves (whatever it was). Aha! That's good for them! There was one week that every time someone asked me something they should know the answer too, I started singing loudly. (That was good for me too - hard to feel crabby when I'm walking around singing loud hymns.)
So, in order to not have that sinking feeling at night, I need to have my time more organized. I can't be too busy, need to stay on top of the food situation and the housework. Give myself permission to have time to myself and make them figure things out on their own sometimes. I also need to work at connecting with them. I'm a "doer" and it doesn't come easy to me to set things aside but sometimes I need to. It's time to get back on track around here! Yay that it's almost January and the perfect time to be doing that.
There are a lot of mom blogs that currently focus on this topic. Many of them feel unbalanced to me though. They talk about the need to let go of distractions and focus on our kids and while we do need to do that, we also have things to get done. I don't think it's good for kids to be the sole focus of life. So how do we do both??
Every mom finds her own balance in this area. I think it probably needs to start with having margin in your life. Extra time. Not having every single second filled up with stuff. When I'm too busy my kids are the ones who feel it. And by too busy, that can mean too busy doing kid things too. I was recently feeling guilty that my kids can't be in certain activity. When I actually thought through all the things that they are involved in though - church, Awana, karate, basketball (starts soon), piano, our home school group - I realized I was being silly and they are fine.
When I'm unorganized in my home management my kids feel it. Running a home is a big job and not one I can put on the back burner. If I don't menu plan, my grocery shopping is off, and we end up eating grilled cheese or pizza. Not that those are bad things but seriously I think one week this month we ate pizza four times. Four! And once I just skipped dinner making and made cookies instead. This is December so that's my excuse, but it really is time to get back on track around here.
If I don't follow a routine for housework I feel inner stress. Some mamas are wonderful at internalizing stress and putting on a smile for the family. I am not one of those. Very few things are internalized and most is right out there in the open. As I mature I think I'm getting better though. I'm envious of my husband because he's great at this. He could have a really really bad day at work but come home and be completely pleasant to be around. Maybe someday that will be me. Anyways, back to the housework. With a family of six there is a lot of it. I have a wonderful little planner on the front of my fridge with housework broken up into the days of the week. I think it's been a year since I've used it though! It's time to get back on track around here.
Give yourself emotional permission to have time to yourself. My husband is wonderful at encouraging me in this. "You do not have to entertain them every single second" he says. And he's right. I feel guilty if I don't spend enough time with them but in actuality I did just spend an entire day with them. It's ok if not all of it was spent making cookies and creating art together. They do not get to neeeeed me every second and sometimes they can wait. Sometimes they can figure it out for themselves. And sometimes they can go ask their big sister (aren't they lucky they have 2?!). My kids know that they do not get to yell for me, they can come and find me. If they do yell for me I almost never answer them. I realized that when I don't answer right away, they figure it out for themselves (whatever it was). Aha! That's good for them! There was one week that every time someone asked me something they should know the answer too, I started singing loudly. (That was good for me too - hard to feel crabby when I'm walking around singing loud hymns.)
So, in order to not have that sinking feeling at night, I need to have my time more organized. I can't be too busy, need to stay on top of the food situation and the housework. Give myself permission to have time to myself and make them figure things out on their own sometimes. I also need to work at connecting with them. I'm a "doer" and it doesn't come easy to me to set things aside but sometimes I need to. It's time to get back on track around here! Yay that it's almost January and the perfect time to be doing that.
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